


Meat: A Symbiotic Love Story

by komagayda



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: (at first it gets discussed tho'!), Alternate Universe - Urban Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blood Drinking, Blow Jobs, Body Horror, Face-Fucking, Hand Jobs, M/M, Non-Consensual Blood Drinking, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Vampire!Yuuri, commitment issues: RESOLVED, communication and emotional vulnerability is my kink now lads, facing their fears and aimlessness head on, look at those two dudes just... resolving their commitment issues, mlm author, morally ambiguous!Yuuri, now featuring the thing once known as JJ Leroy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-24
Updated: 2017-05-31
Packaged: 2018-10-23 09:40:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 30,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10716885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/komagayda/pseuds/komagayda
Summary: One night on a way back from a particularly soul-killing shift at his dead-end convenience store clerk job, Viktor Nikiforov's depressingly normal life takes a turn for thepeculiar.After being rudely bitten in the neck by a strange, strange little man, a strange, darker world is revealed to him, barely hidden under the surface of his previously mundane life. As he becomes the vaguely interested but mostly confused host of an unwillingly blood-sucking parasite by the name of Yuuri Katsuki, he begins to realise that maybe his boring life wasn't quite as bad as he thought it was...





	1. Things That Go Bump in The Night

**Author's Note:**

> From the guy who brought you the _soft apocalypse mindscrew sci-fi! AU that no one asked for_ comes the _urban fantasy dark comedy vampire! AU no one asked for_!
> 
> in all seriousness, I'll do my best to tag things appropriately as I go along.
> 
> Hope you have some fun with this.
> 
> Before jumping into this chapter, please note that there might be some imagery that might make some people uncomfortable if they're squeamish about anything construed as assault (namely the neck-biting incident refered to in the summary) so if you want to skip it, the discussion of said neck biting occurs under the 2nd linebreak and in the next chapter (which should be uploaded at some point over the week).

**_“_** ** _I have never met a vampire personally, but I don't know what might happen tomorrow.”_** **** __  
\- Bela Lugosi  
  


Viktor Nikiforov stretched passively after slumping on the counter. His head was already full of images of his bed, warm, soft and inviting. Thick fluffy pillows and a plush quilted duvet tantalisingly beckoned him from afar, as though they were whispering _come take a nap, Vitya. It’s so warm and cosy here…_

A goofy grin stretched across his face. He was going to go home take a bitchin depression nap when his shift was over in five minutes. It would be less of a nap and more of a few hours of being dead, but without the pesky commitment that came with shuffling off the mortal coil.

                “Tired, Vicky?” His co-worker asked with a grin, “I don’t blame you. Sucks that we got stuck with the graveyard shift.”

                Viktor groaned, “you have no idea, Christophe. I swear to god we need to organise a worker’s strike or something. It’s dead, it’s always dead at this time of night so what’s the point of even keeping this awful joint open so late.”

                “Well, there like three people when the bars closed who needed directions to the McDonalds…” Christophe said with his trademark snarky smile, cocking his head to the side, “They even bought some smokes. Where else would they go for that, an actual proper convenience store? Nah, _Stop-N-Save 24 Hour Kwick-Mart_ is where the real hipsters go. God, I should’ve stayed at _Bangerz_ … at least I didn’t have to wear such an awful uniform there.”

                Viktor rolled his eyes. At first glance, Christophe seemed like your typical oversexed, aimless former college bro working a dead-end job (and he was all of those things) but deep down he was a good enough person. “You didn’t have to wear anything. That was kind of the point…”

                “Yeah, but that’s preferable to this awful thing,” He said, grasping at the collar of the bright orange polo shirt that they wore as their standard work uniform, “plus it paid super well. You know, you probably would’ve done well too, you’re pretty and I’m sure you have a nice enough bod under this tacky monstrosity.”

                Viktor gave him one of his patented glares, but he was pretty sure that it didn’t even faze the other man. “Then why did you quit, stupid?”

                Christophe shrugged his shoulders dismissively, “I mean, I wouldn’t have, but you know Adel, right? It made him uncomfortable so I respectfully resigned. Cash and flexible schedules are good and all, but nothing beats having a healthy, happy relationship.”

                _Tell that to my bitchin’ bed. God, I could use that nap right about now…_

“You backflipped off a stage, yelled ‘ _peace out homies, all of y’all bitches ain’t got shit on my fiancé. I’m gonna get married suckers!_ ’ and then proceeded to run out into the parking lot and drive away without bothering to change out of the glittery banana-hammock you were wearing.” Viktor said bluntly, rubbing his temples. He’d been friends with Christophe for years and had come to expect this sort of thing, but it was a pain. “Then you called me begging to put in a good word for you at the _Stop-N-Save_.”

                “Hey, it’s not my fault all of that was true,” Christophe said, blinking his eyes in a disgustingly facetious show of false innocence. “Besides, you know me, I live for the drama babe.”

                “Oh yeah… Trust me, I know.” He grumbled, looking up at the clock. Somehow, the five-minute mark had magically come to pass, “have fun with the late night alkies, I’ve got a bed at home that’s been calling my name since like 1:30 AM”.

                “You’re just going to abandon me like this Vicky, after everything I’ve done for you?” Christophe whined from behind the counter as Viktor headed towards the door after punching out at lightning speed, “just be careful okay, there’s been some weird shit going on lately. Lots of reports of missing persons and all that.”

* * *

 

                “Weird shit, give me a break,” Viktor muttered as he walked down the empty streets, “like anything remotely interesting would happen in my life.”

                He sighed, lighting a cigarette and putting it to his lips. He was 28 and, after graduating from college with his BA in business studies he immediately went to work at his father’s run-down corner convenience store. He had done nothing, amounted to nothing and had had nothing unusual ever happened to him. Sometimes he went to work during the day and sold newspapers to the little old Russian ladies who would ask him how his father was doing, how his cousins were doing, how everyone who had ever spoken two words to him was doing, and sometimes he would work at night selling cigarettes and cheap, warm Budweisers and PBRs to kids with obvious fake IDs. Either way, he would go home, collapse into bed and sleep for a few hours before indulging in his favourite hobby of self-loathing and watching cooking show reruns while eating lukewarm lean cuisines with his dog and going back to bed.

                He was sure there was probably some alternate universe where he didn’t turn out to be such a huge failure, where he was something like an Olympic athlete or an expert neurosurgeon but, well, this was the shitty timeline where all he had was his dog, the shambles of the Stop-N-Save Kwick-Mart empire, and his best friend the ex-stripper.

                Nothing weird there, just kind of a pathetic nothing of an existence. He walked alone down the dark, lonesome streets towards his apartment complex. It was going to be autumn soon, and the air had a sharp, almost brisk quality to it under the usual warm summer breeze. He would need more than his light bomber jacket soon, even if it was his favourite. He’d found the embroidered thing at Value Village for like 20 bucks, which had been the highlight of that week.

                Suddenly, a sound interrupted his thoughts, It was a fast, shuffling, rustling sound like dead leaves skittering across the pavement in the fall. He turned around to see just what it was and was met by a heavy, fleshy, meaty thing slamming against him, ramming him into the wall of a neighbouring alleyway. He stumbled to his feet in a daze, trying not to fall over. He squinted in the dark, the only source of light being a lone, pitiful light in the fire escape of an apartment bloc. He was going to open his mouth to speak, to ask what the fuck was happening only to feel the heavy meaty thing smack against him again, pressing him against the cold brick wall.

                “Yo, what the fuck-” Viktor choked out, straining against the weight of what he realised was another person. “Lemme go asshole… you can have my wallet ok?”

                “I’m so sorry…”  He heard a slightly anxious voice pant into his ear, “I’m so sorry. It’ll be over soon just…”

                “Hey, hey, hey what are you-” Viktor began, trying to push the stranger off him. Whatever was happening, he wanted no part of it. Despite the fact that Viktor was pretty strong, he couldn’t seem to get the other man to budge.

                It was then that he felt a sharp, slicing pain in his neck as the stranger swept his long hair away. He gasped sharply as he tried in vain to pull away from the pain. He felt a wet thing lap against his neck.

                _Oh god, what the fuck- Is he licking me?_

_Oh god is this how I fucking die?_

“Shhh it’s okay, it’s gonna be ok…” The stranger whispered softly, lapping at the wound on Viktor’s neck, sharp teeth dragging against the injury and opening it more. “Close your eyes, it’ll be over soon ok. I’m so, so sorry.”

                Viktor’s lids felt strangely heavy as a thick, numb feeling spread around the area that had been bitten. His head slightly woozy and light, as though someone had replaced his brain with a wad of cotton. His breathing slowed down as he relaxed his muscles. He vaguely heard the other man whisper in a breathless pant in between long sweeps of his tongue.

                “Fuck, I’m so sorry sir… It’ll be over soon, oh god I’m so sorry…”

                “It- it’s okay dude, it’s whatever…” Viktor heard himself mutter. This wouldn’t be such a bad way to go, once you got around how weird the situation was. There was something almost pleasant about it, actually. It felt warm, tingly, almost vaguely erotic.

                Like falling asleep after a long day.

_Yeah, sleep sounds good right about now…_

* * *

 

                Viktor stirred. He’d had the weirdest dream he’d had in a while. He pulled the covers up tightly around his head as he snuggled deeper into his warm bed. If his alarm hadn’t rung yet, he sure as fuck wasn’t going to get out of bed.

                “Uh, excuse me, sir… are you awake yet?”

                Viktor flung the blanket off his head, sitting upright so fast he could sue himself for whiplash. There, sitting at the seat of the bed, was a young man. He was smaller than Viktor, and probably quite a bit younger too. He looked uncomfortable and awkward, his dark eyes glued to the floor, looking larger than they actually were, magnified by oversized blue framed glasses. His hair was dark and unkempt, swaying slightly as he bowed his head bashfully. He was dressed like a stage hand: dark boots paired with dark jeans and a dark sweater which had been pushed up to his elbows. The oversized shirt and overall demeanour of the man made him seem small and meek despite the fact that he was a little on the plush side.

                “What the fuck did I do last night…” Viktor groaned as he rubbed his temples. He didn’t feel hung over at all, in fact, he felt better than he had in a long time. His head was clear and he felt refreshed, as though he’d had a machine gun orgasm before collapsing into the best rest he ever had. “Sorry, but I don’t think we’ve ever met… or at least, I don’t remember meeting you. I don’t mean to offend, but I don’t remember anything that happened last night, did we use protection or…”

                “Oh no, we d-didn’t do anything like that,” the stranger said, his cheeks turning slightly pink as he waved his hands as though to clear away the implication. If Viktor was in a less confused mood, he’d probably classify this specimen as kind of cute in a _take-him-home-to-meet-your-parents-and-then-have-kinky-bed-destroying-sex-in-your-adolescent-bedroom_ kind of way. Not inhumanly attractive, but seemingly nice and cute enough. “I’m afraid we met in…less pleasant circumstances.”

                Viktor raised an eyebrow in confusion, “Less pleasant circumstances?”

                “Please don’t freak out or get mad, okay?” The other man said slowly and cautiously, as though he were speaking to a hungry lion that might pounce on him at any moment, “but I bit you… on the neck.”

                “That’s exactly the kind of thing I should freak out and get angry about…” Viktor said dully, vaguely remembering being slammed into a wall, “but please, go on, I’m sure you had a wonderful reason to assault me. “

                “Well, you see, it’s kinda sorta… complicated?” The man said with a nervous smile, shrugging his shoulders as he did in a sort of _whoopsie doodle_ pose.

                “Complicated,” Viktor repeated flatly, cocking an eyebrow. He was just about fucking done with this nonsense, “if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to call the police.”

                “W-wait, there’s no need to do that. I can explain everything…” The man spat as he leapt forward. A nervous sweat seemed to have formed on his brow as he stretched out his arms, landing a few inches away from Viktor’s face, hanging over him as he did. “I just don’t know if you’re gonna believe this. It’s, uh, a funny story really. No need to get the cops involved.”

                Viktor flinched as the other man almost collapsed on top of him. They were way too close at the moment. “Okay, okay. Just please calm down and get out of my… personal space.”

                “Oh, yeah, right, sorry…” The man said, bowing his head again as sat back up, returning to his place at the foot of the bed. “Sorry, I’m ah, not used to this.”

                “So you don’t make a habit out of running into people, slamming them up to various structures and gnawing on their jugular. That’s good to know. Makes me feel special.” Viktor said blithely as he plotted the easiest route out of the apartment. If he jumped out of the second-story window, he might break a few limbs but probably survive.

                _Maybe._

“It’s not like that… It’s just I’m uh, kinda, sorta, a, uh… vampire?” The man said as he scratched his neck nervously, his face twitching into another nervous smile that would almost be cute if it weren’t attached to the face of a serial neck biter who just spouted out some sort of nonsense about being a bloodsucker.

                “Right. A vampire.” Viktor said, his tone slightly more sympathetic. It was clear that this man had some issues. It probably wasn’t really his fault, but at the same time he was pretty sure that running around biting people was a good way to get shot, “you know, I know a number we can call and some really nice people will come and bring you to a nice, safe place where they’ll take care of you and get you the medication you need. Do you want to do that, because I think we should do that.”

                “You don’t believe me do you?” The man said nervously fiddling with his fingers, “I-I mean I don’t blame you…. It kinda sounds a little crazy when you say it like that. Oh look, I’m really not supposed to do this but the situation is already kinda fucky so just… just don’t panic okay?”

                The man stretched his neck as he spoke, cracking his head from side to side. He then stretched his arms forward, cracking his wrists and knuckles. Viktor wasn’t quite sure what the exact purpose of this stretching ritual was, but he figured he might as well play along until he got some mental health professionals on the scene. He watched as the man let out some sort of pained grunt, squeezing his hands into tight fists.

                Then things got, well, _kinda fucky_.

                The scene seemed inorganic as the sound of stretching tissue filled the room. Twin slits had been torn in his shirt as bones had broken through the thin layer of skin that seemed to contain them. skin, muscle, and connective tissue crept along the skeletal structure that jutted from the man’s scapula as though they were not solid, but rather a viscous fluid, finally settling in the shape of black, leathery wings.

                “Holy shit! Okay, okay, you’re a fucking vampire,” Viktor yelped, his pale blue eyes wide with shock as he watched the scene play out before him.

                Despite himself, Viktor had been dragged into something highly unusual.


	2. Getting a Quick Bite to Eat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Viktor plays Interview With A Vampire and a deal gets struck.
> 
> Also Yuuri is an awkward boy and says some things that might involve orgasms, grandma and mcnuggets.

**_“_ ** **_If God never intended us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?”_ ** **_  
\- John Cleese_ **

                “Okay, so you’re a, uh, blood-sucking creature of the night… That’s kind of weird,” Viktor said shakily as he pulled his blanket up nervously, “what exactly does that mean for me, am I going to be turning into a Dracula now?”

                The winged man shook his head with a frown, “I don’t think so, it doesn’t really work that way. As for what it means well, that’s kind of hard to figure out… You see, usually when I feed the bodies kind of… sort of… collapse into ashes.”

                “So you targeted me based on the assumption that I was just going to turn into a pile of dust,” Viktor said in an incredulous tone, “That doesn’t feel very good for the old self-esteem, not gonna lie.”

                “Not exactly,” The man said, shaking his head again. He nervously stroked the inner membrane of his right wing as he spoke, seemingly trying to find the appropriate combination of words to get his thoughts across, “I mean, I didn’t really target you at all. I was just going home after work, and I got hit by _the hunger_. I try to eat as little as possible you see, for uh, obvious reasons. Well, I thought I would be okay waiting another day but… I sensed an overwhelming aura of despair from your general direction and lost control.”

                “Aura. Of. Despair.” Viktor said gloomily, “That doesn’t really make me feel any better like I’m just a quick bite to eat. Like ‘ _oh hey kids there’s no more food at home so we’re gonna stop by the ol’ drive through at aura of despair and get some crappy meals_ ’.”

                “I’m sorry, it’s not just you mind, we’re kind of built to be attracted to despair… things like me I mean,” the man said with a sympathetic smile, “if it helps, you’re actually really pretty and not at all as pathetic as I expected from the scent of your existential crisis... A lot more Byronesque really. I was kind of surprised.”

                “Byronesque…” Viktor said with a sigh, “you’re actually really bad at this whole making people feel better about their lot in life thing. I thought vampires were supposed to be irresistibly charming and charismatic.”

                “I’m sorry, I don’t really get to talk to people my own age much…” The man replied, lowering his gaze again, “you know, for obvious reasons.”

                “Yeah, I can imagine being a vampire kind of fucking with your social life…” Viktor said sympathetically. There was something oddly endearing about the other man’s anxious and awkward demeanour, something that made Viktor want to give him a pat on the back, tell him it wasn’t so bad and invite him out for drinks… well, maybe not, considering the whole _drinking human blood_ business.

                _Skip the drinks, keep the pat on the back._

“You mentioned work, right?” He asked, “can’t you try to make friends there?”

                “Oh well, it’s not really that kind of place…” The man said with a sigh, gently leaning back onto the bed as he spoke, “I work in a nursing home you see, it’s not so bad. Senior citizens aren’t exactly the type to want to go tan on the beach so it works out for all of us in the end, as long as they have someone to play bridge with or talk shit about their grandkids to… and then when they get to the end of their life cycles, I do what I have to do and they get to go out feeling pretty damn good. It’s mutually beneficial.”

                “Yeah, I can imagine that being a pretty sweet deal. All the nana haemoglobin and grandpa bloody Caesars you can drink.” Viktor said, rolling his eyes.

                “I see you’re not particularly fond of the eating people part…” The man said, his dark eyes softening as he spoke, “I don’t blame you. Most people find the act of drinking human blood to be fairly repulsive.”

                “Well, yeah.” Viktor said, “no offence, you do know that people can’t really walk away from the whole getting cremated thing.”

                “Neither can the chickens you turn into McNuggets,” The vampire said with a wry smile, “At least I can safely say that I offer grandma and grandpa more dignity than turning them into a whopper. I doubt ol’ Bessie gets a killer orgasm and the chance to have her soul cleansed before entering the burgeriser.”

                “I can’t believe I had to hear that with my own two ears, Count Cockula,” Viktor said with a groan. “I never want to hear the words _killer orgasm_ and _grandma_ in the same vicinity ever again.”

                The young man’s face turned bright red as he seemed to have realised what he just said. He immediately hid his face in his hands, letting out a loud whimpering noise as he did. “I- I didn’t mean that I fuck them to death, Viktor. I just wanted to say that it’s not an unpleasant way out, okay… I didn’t deserve that.”

                “Yeah but that’s what you…” Viktor stopped, the cold rush of a sudden realisation creeping down his spine as though it were a trickle of melting snow, “how do you know my name?”

                “Ah, well…” The man replied as he peaked from behind his fingers, seemingly thankful that the subject had moved away from grandmas for the moment, “I uh, looked in your wallet when you passed out. You said I could have it so I figured it wasn’t inappropriate… That’s kinda how I knew to bring you here…”

                “You brought me home. From like, four blocks away,” Viktor said with a raised eyebrow. “Like, just, over the shoulder? No biggie, just a bloke giving a grown ass man a piggie back ride…”

                “Kinda like that, yeah,” The man replied as if it was a perfectly normal way to spend a Thursday morning, “I didn’t really feel like it was right to go rooting through your things so I kind of climbed the fire escape and found this window you left open so from there it was just a question of popping out the mosquito screen and climbing in… your dog didn’t seem to like that part much though.”

                “I can’t imagine why,” Viktor muttered as he rubbed his temples. At this point, he was fully willing to accept that he had been carted up the fire escape and through the window. Why not, shit was weird enough anyway.

                One moment he was worried about his existential purpose as the heir of the Stop-N-Save Kwick-Mart, the next he was privy to the fact that not only did vampires exist, but they could fly, respect property rights and apparently really _rock your socks off_. Overall it was not one of the worst possible revelations he’d ever had, but also not really a typical Thursday morning kind of thing. It almost felt like more of a _late-night Saturday after a riotous bacchanal_ sort of thing.

                “If we’re going to continue this conversation,” Viktor said after a moment, “we’re going to need to correct this imbalance in the amount of information both of us possess. Let’s start with the obvious, what’s your name?”

                “I’m Yuuri Katsuki,” He said, smiling widely, revealing a particularly long and sharp looking set incisors and canines. The thought of those things digging into Viktor’s skin made him shudder a little, but he couldn’t help but realise (with some mild embarrassment) that it intrigued a slightly masochistic streak of his personality, “with uh, two _U_ s in it which is a bit odd I guess. I’m 23, a Sagittarius and you know, male… I guess we’re about even based on what I got from your license.”

                “Okay, that’s a good start… Not really the kind of name I’d associate with brooding in a castle but it’s pretty good.” Viktor said, digesting the information he was given, “where do we go from here?”

                “Well I mean, we can’t all be named something as inherently badass as _Winner: Son of Champion_ but you know, I think my name is pretty good.” Yuuri said blithely, rustling his large wings in a vaguely irate manner, “can I put these away yet, they’re kind of cumbersome…”

                “You really didn’t need to wait for my permission Mr.Katsuki,” Viktor said with a grin, “I’m sorry, that was a little low of me. I couldn’t help myself.”

                “I’m sorry, I just get a little anxious. Like I said, I’ve never really done this…” Yuuri said with a gentle sigh, he gave the impression of being a very lonely person, or at least, a very sad puppy. He felt the sudden urge to playfully rustle his hair, despite the fact that barely a few hours ago this man’s fangs were buried deep into his neck.

                _Never underestimate the power of puppy dog eyes…_

                Yuuri let out a sharp gasp as a fleshy ripping sound filled the air, making Viktor’s stomach churn. His eyes were glued on the scene before him as the skin on the large black wings peeled back, revealing strands of muscle which twisted and contorted itself around the long, dainty, finger-like bones beneath them. Slowly, masses of sinew and flesh crawled back into the twin openings on the other man’s scapula as though they were strange creatures gliding along the ocean floor. The bare skeletal structure folded in on itself, collapsing back into the raw, open looking slits on Yuuri’s back.

                “A-Are you going to be alright?” Viktor exclaimed a little too loudly as he watched Yuuri pant, his fingers clenching fistfuls of the white fluffy duvet. “That looked painful…”

                Yuuri glanced over to Viktor, his pupils were pinpricks in those large brown eyes, a tight smile pulled at his cheeks as he nodded briskly, “yeah it’s just always been harder for me to pull them back in there… I don’t really make a point of using them much. Now, Mari, she can do it without even flinching.”

                “Mari?” Viktor asked, cocking his head to the side.

                “Yeah, my older sister. You’d like her, she likes detective novels, rock music and luring men to their doom…” Yuuri said with a dry laugh.

                “So, then all your family are… like you then?” Viktor asked, raising an eyebrow. He never really considered that Yuuri had to have come from somewhere. The idea of a vampire arguing with an older sibling over who got to use the shower first, or who got the car on Saturday night seemed almost charming. Maybe they even had a vampire dog.

                “Pretty much, yeah. Except for dad, but you know, he does his best…” Yuuri said, lowering his gaze, shrugging slightly dismissively, “there’s lots of us out there, probably. It’s not like we have big ol’ vampire conventions where we all meet up and sing karaoke and watch screenings of _Interview With The Vampire_ or whatever.”

                “I get that feeling…” Viktor said, reaching forward and gently patting the other man on the shoulder, “I didn’t really get to know my family much either. I mean, I’ve got dad but as much as he pretends I’m not adopted it’s… pretty obvious.”

                “Sorry for bringing that up,” Yuuri said, his cheeks dusted with a slight coat of pink, “but right, uh, back to business I guess. I was going to ask a favour, which I know, sounds kind of rude since I kind of attacked you and got all up on your throat like that…”

                Viktor shrugged, “not even the worst thing a one night stand has done to me, don’t worry about it. At least this time I’m woke up in my own bed and not asleep in my car in a towing lot sans pants with a charge for ten pounds of beluga caviar on my credit card. How the fuck do you even get eggs out of those things, I mean they’re mammals for fuck’s sake…”

                “It’s a lake in- never mind.” Yuuri said, looking like he was choking back a laugh, “I was going to ask if you uh, didn’t mind being my host since I can drink from you without that nasty side effect of killing someone. It’s stupid, but even if they’re old and on death’s door anyway, killing is kinda… unpleasant… distasteful, really. I mean, I can pay you, I know I just said I worked at the retirement home but that was more for convenience’s sake. Dad kind of made a fortune on some good stocks so I can give you whatever you need…”

                “Well, when you put it like that…” Viktor muttered, “like a sugar daddy but with more gore involved right?”

                “Well I mean you really don’t have to put it like that,” Yuuri said, the pink glow on his soft cheeks deepening to a pleasant crimson hue, “besides like I said, it’s not like it’s an unpleasant experience either so I figure it’s worth your time…”

                Viktor pondered the ethical implications of the situation. Despite everything, he’d always prided himself on being fairly self-reliant, not one to bother with forming deep bonds that would incur the risk of _needing_ someone. Still, having those extra funds did mean something other than cup noodles and frozen mac and cheese for supper every night, and the guy seemed harmless enough, if not awkward and lonely. He didn’t strike Viktor as being someone who delighted in cruelty and seemed to have treated the possibility of killing to eat as more of a necessity than a thing to indulge in… plus, he did have a nice ass and soft looking thighs which were always a good point.

                _No, we’re not doing this for the ass. We are a moral being, who is acting in the interests of the greater good, we’re going to feed this little stray… vampire here and in doing so stop him from chomping on the masses. It’s all for the good of humanity and maybe one day I can touch that booty too._

_Eesh. I need to get laid._

“Alright, sounds like a good enough deal.” Viktor finally said, trying to sound like he hadn’t spent the last few minutes thinking about Yuuri’s ass and the possibilities it represented, “when do you want me to start?”

                “I was hoping uh, now…” Yuuri said bluntly, averting his gaze, “Since I haven’t eaten since Thursday…”

                “Oh, okay…” Viktor responded, trying very hard not to think about what Yuuri meant by _since Thursday…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry for ever putting the words "orgasm" and "grandma" in the same paragraph.


	3. Lovebites and other perversions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Viktor and Yuuri share a pleasant first meal together, and well, things get a little out of _hand_  
>  (and that is exactly what I mean, wink wink nudge nudge)

**_“_ ** **_Does it have to be human?! Does it have to be mine!?”_ ** **_  
\- Seymour Krelborn (Feed Me)_ **

                “Before you get all comfy and uh, start chowing down on my jugular and all that stuff,” Viktor said nervously, “should I know about any unfortunate side effects? Like how long was I even out because I know what since Thursday implies here and it’s not exactly reassuring.”

                “Like I said, it’s not unpleasant or gross or anything… It might sting a little at first but I’m sure you’ll get over that fast,” Yuuri said, pausing pensively, “…and I’m pretty sure you won’t get knocked out this time. I mean, even then three days isn’t so bad compared to the alternative.”

                “Three days is a pretty big deal…” Viktor groaned. There went his weekend, which wasn’t exactly full of exciting plans but still, it was the principle of the matter that counted, “please tell me you at least fed Makkachin…”

                “Makkachin?” Yuuri asked, “I’ve been calling him Vicchan, but yeah, I fed your dog. We’re simpatico now which is pretty cool considering most animals want to murder me on sight.”

                “I mean, I can’t imagine why…” Viktor said with a sigh, mentally noting that Makkachin’s guard dog skills were questionable at best, “Oh well, it can’t be helped. Makkachin’s a softie anyway, just give her some milk bones and rub her tummy and she’s your best friend forever.”

                “I’ll keep that in mind,” Yuuri said with a gentle smile. He seemed to have calmed down some since his offer had been accepted, which was quite nice. “Do I have to rub your tummy for eternal friendship as well?”

                Viktor felt the sudden irresistible urge to smack him with a pillow. _Did I think it was quite nice because I’m pretty sure I meant absolutely terrible…_

                “That was incredibly corny, Katsuki.” Viktor said, rolling his eyes so hard he was pretty sure he saw a flash of his own brain back there, “I thought that vampires were supposed to be cool. I don’t know how many more betrayals I can take here…”

                “Aww geez, I’m sorry…” Yuuri sighed, propping his hands onto his hips in a comedically exaggerated show of indignance, “I didn’t realise we were at open mic night in Viktor’s bedroom…”

                The witty repartee was interrupted by a loud grumble from Yuuri’s stomach. The smaller man bent over, clutching at his gut with an embarrassed expression painted onto his face, his cheeks flushed a deep pink colour. He glanced sheepishly at Victor, an adorably shy smile creeping onto his lips.

                _Almost cute, if it weren’t a reminder of the reason we’re gathered here today._

“I guess it’s lunch time then…” Viktor said, trying way too hard to seem casual about this whole thing, “so how does this work, do I have to squeeze some blood into a cup or are you gonna go straight for the source or…”

                “I uh, figure I can just you know…” Yuuri mumbled, rubbing his neck nervously, “give it a little nibble. It’s probably easier on the neck but if you’re not comfortable then uh, feel free to suggest anywhere else. I’m not picky…”

                “Neck’s fine I guess…” Victor said, pulling the blanket down to reveal more of his torso. “I would ask why I’m only wearing my underthings but uh, I don’t think I want to know…”

                “It wasn’t anything untoward if that’s what you’re nervous about,” Yuuri said softly as he gently crept forward on the bed, his shoulders rocking in a manner that was reminiscent of a wild cat stalking its prey, “I just wanted to make sure you were alright. Your soul didn’t do the glowy thing, so I had to check to see if you were okay…”

                “The glowy thing?” Viktor asked as he propped himself up on a pillow, trying and failing to get comfortable as the other man made his gentle approach. Even if his throat wasn’t about to get someone else’s teeth sunken into it, he still hadn’t been this close to another man in a long time. It had been a while since he’d gotten any…

                “Yeah, like I mentioned,” Yuuri started slowly, gently sweeping Viktor’s long, silver hair out of the way, “part of the deal is that your soul kind of gets cleansed before you collapse into ash. I don’t understand the mechanics of it, but mum said that we kind of pull out any impurities it has. I figure most bodies don’t know what to do with an entirely clean soul so they just… disintegrate.”

                “Charming,” Viktor mumbled, tilting his head so as to stretch out his neck fully, “well, my ex-girlfriend said I was utterly soulless when we broke up, so that would probably explain it.”

                “Is that the one with the credit card fraud, or was that another specimen?” Yuuri asked, his eyes soft behind long dark lashes. His pupils were dilating, becoming dark pits that seemed to almost blend with the brown of his irises. With his twitching nose and rolling shoulders, he really did give Viktor the impression of a hungry predator, about to pounce on something small and defenceless. It made a warm tingle travel down his spine, settling in his pelvic region as his heartbeat quickened in his ribcage.

_That probably shouldn’t be turning me on quite as much as it is. I should probably bring that up with a therapist._

“N-no…” Viktor said nervously, shuffling slightly under Yuuri as he tried to get into a comfortable position, “I have bad luck with girlfriends I guess. Boyfriends too. I’m just bad at this whole picking a suitable partner business…”

                “That’s too bad,” Yuuri murmured softly, his voice distinctly deeper and breathier than it had been previously, “I figured you’d actually be pretty popular with the ladies since you’re so hot and all.”

                _Definitely should not be getting this excited. Fucking gonna have a staff meeting with my libido if this keeps up…_

                “Y-yeah well, it’s a curse I guess…” Viktor said, trying to keep his composure as he felt the other man’s warm breath tickle his neck. He swallowed nervously, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat as he became incredibly aware of just how dry his mouth was.

                “This might hurt a little at first,” Yuuri whispered softly into Viktor’s ear as he ever-so-slightly grazed the side of his jaw with his lips, “I promise I’ll make it good for you, okay Viktor? If ever you need me to stop, just say so…”

                “Ri-Right. Go ahead, din-din is ready.” Viktor said, trying to suppress the urge to nod violently as he did. He wasn’t quite sure when Yuuri’s demeanour had changed so violently, but something about it clearly made his chest stir in a way that wasn’t entirely unpleasant.

                He gasped sharply as he felt Yuuri’s warm, soft lips gently mouth the left side of his neck, a little above the collarbone. His breath felt warm as he heard him breathe in deep, excited pants. The tip of a sharp incisor, followed by a canine gently poked against his skin, as though Yuuri were testing things, trying to find just the right spot to sink his fangs. The spot was clearly satisfactory, as the other man reeled back slightly before sharply biting Viktor’s neck.

                Viktor grabbed a fistful of bedsheet as the other man’s teeth sunk into his flesh with a sharp pain. He felt Yuuri’s wet tongue gently probe the wound he’d opened, lapping in small, hesitant sweeps at first. Immediately, he heard a satisfied hum in the back of the other man’s throat as he seemingly relished the taste. The licking became more confident, with longer strokes of his tongue as he teased the bite marks with his front teeth, trying to open them more to coax more scarlet fluid from Viktor’s body. He felt a tight sensation under his navel as the other man lapped at his throat, occasionally making small throaty noises of enjoyment which made the dull lingering ache that had started developing south of his waistline intensify. A numb, warm, tingly feeling spread through the area around the wound, as though Yuuri were working something analgesic into his skin as he lapped at it.

                Yuuri pulled back slightly, looking into Viktor’s eyes with a heavily lidded expression of satisfaction. His lips were stained a dark crimson colour as a trickle of blood and saliva seemed to have smeared its way onto his chin. His smile was coy, almost arrogantly seductive as he licked his chops in a catlike manner, his tongue gliding over those predatory fangs. “how are you doing so far, Viktor?” He said in a deep velvety purr, “is everything alright, I’m sure I heard you whimper…”

                “Yeah, I’m all good…” Viktor said, a warm flush prickling it’s way onto his cheeks, “how about you?”

                “I’m not going to lie, I don’t think I’ve ever had a meal quite this pleasant.” Yuuri said, his smile widening, making his eyes crinkle under the large lenses of his glasses, “between your taste, how pretty you are and your scent it’s all… delightful.”

                “My scent?” Viktor asked in a voice that was definitely less composed than he’d intended it to be. “I don’t understand what you mean, I haven’t showered in like three days…”

                “I mean,” Yuuri said in a breathy voice as he leant back over to wound on Viktor’s neck, lapping up the gentle trickle of red that had formed during their pause, “the scent of your excitement. Your anxiety. Your fear. Your desires. Your happiness. Everything is mixing together beautifully.”

                “Like my emotions?” Viktor said, swallowing again as Yuuri’s tongue teased his throat once more. He was hard, there was no denying it now. Between the strangely pleasurable contact of other man’s tongue on his neck, the warm numb, content feeling that was overwhelming his brain and the smaller man’s voice, something had unlocked a direct line to his dick.

                Yuuri made a contented noise in the affirmative, his plump lips locking around the area, applying pressure and suction to draw more blood to his hungry tongue. The sensation was almost too much for Viktor to bear as his hips unconsciously bucked forward, seeking resistance and friction but finding none. He heard a hum in the other man’s throat as he shuffled, trying to get comfortable.

                _Is it possible to fucking die of embarrassment because I think I might like that right now?_

                “Do you want me to do something about that?” Yuuri asked, his smile more sincere than the previous ones, “I’ve never really done it to another person but…”

                Viktor nodded, unable to speak. He covered his eyes with his hand, praying for the earth to swallow him whole, “only if you’re okay with it…”

                “I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t mind, Viktor…” He said, his eyelashes fluttering unfairly in front of those dark, twinkling eyes, “if you want me to stop just say so, okay?”

                He watched Yuuri lap a long line of slightly-pinkish saliva onto his palm, winking at Viktor as he took special care to cover his fingers with the slick fluid. He gently slid his hand under the blanket as he affixed his lips to the other man’s neck once more, hungrily lapping as he stroked Viktor’s desperate cock. Viktor bit back a contented moan as he instinctively rocked his hips to the rhythm of Yuuri’s pumping fist.

                The other man smiled, panting slightly as he whispered in between strokes of his tongue (and hand), “you’re so warm and hard Viktor… it feels good. Seeing you come undone like this…”

                Viktor bit his lip, he wouldn’t last at all at this rate, but he didn’t care at all. He let himself enjoy the warm tension building in his lower body as he drew closer to his climax, losing himself in the moment and the throaty noises the other man made as he lapped with a fervent desperateness that made his chest tighten.

                He saw bright white light as he came with a cry, spilling on Yuuri’s hand. He would probably have to clean the sheets, but he didn’t care as he throbbed with a trill of excitement and joy, a warm shudder of pleasure running through his body as his muscles relaxed.

                The other man gave his neck one last gentle stroke of his tongue as he pulled away, a warm smile on his bruised lips. He raised his hand from its place under the bedclothes and winked, licking his fingers clean with a fervent joy, shutting his eyes as he did.

                _This guy is dangerous._ Viktor thought as he caught his breath, adding the scene before him to his mental Rolodex for safe keeping. _Nice._  

               

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> see, this had a point it gave us the good lore (tm).  
> there's a plot to this, but also vamps gotta eat (and noa gets to earn that E rating somehow)!
> 
> It went better than last time tho, ha ha ha.


	4. Ugly Turtlenecks Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Viktor and Yuuri discuss the nature of the events that transpired, Viktor gets some lunch of his own and then Regretable Fashion Choices™ are made.

**_“You met me at a very strange time in my life._ ** **_”_ ** **_  
\- The Narrator, Fight Club_ **

                Viktor gently patted the gloomy lump of self-loathing that was currently huddled on the couch, wrapped up so tightly in a blanket that only a pair of dark, distressed eyes and oversized glasses were visible.

                _I think I finally understand what he meant when he said ‘palpable aura of despair’_ , Viktor thought to himself as he rubbed what he thought was a shoulder with small, circular motions, attempting to coax the blanket’s occupant out of his cocoon of abject misery.

                “Hey now,” Viktor said, his voice warm with sympathy (and the remaining notes of what was, quite honestly, an A+ would recommend orgasm), “it’s ok Yuuri. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about…”

                “But…” A muffled voice mumbled, “I totally lost control back there. I mean, I was just… losing it with the pheromones and the taste of your blood and the… well… the…”

                “It’s okay. Like I said earlier,” He said, trying his best not to betray how simultaneously strange and _fantastic_ the experience had been, “it was totally consensual on both ends, right?”

                The blanket shook with a small tremor. A nod from deep within the soft, fluffy layers of fabric.

                “…And you enjoyed it, right,” He said again, leaning closer to Yuuri, wrapping an arm around him, “both the dinner and the well, you know?”

                Another, very enthusiastic affirmative nod which made the pile of fabric flutter. It was almost adorable if the inhabitant of that pile didn’t seem so entirely mortified from the whole affair.

                “Then there you go. There’s nothing wrong with any of it.” Viktor said with what he hoped was a reassuring tone and warm smile, “don’t worry about it. It happens to everyone, right? One moment you’re watching a movie with your hot roommate, thinking about how nice his cologne smells, the next moment your face is buried between his ass-cheeks and you're asking yourself ‘ _Movie, What Movie?’_ … It’s basically the same thing.”

                Slowly but surely, Yuuri peeled the blanket away from his head, revealing his flushed cheeks, “no offence, but I’m pretty sure that experience is just you.”

                “okay, so maybe that’s true but the point still stands…” Viktor said with a sigh, “as long as everyone involved is happy, ok with the whole situation and having a good time then there’s nothing wrong, right?”

                Yuuri pushed his glasses up his nose as he glanced shyly at Viktor. It was hard to believe that this was the same person who had, about an hour ago, been confidently licking cum off his hands while moaning. “So, you’re not weirded out or anything?”

                “God no,” Viktor said with a low groan, flopping lazily against the back of the sofa, letting his head loll over the soft cushion, “honestly that experience was like, phenomenal. It’s like, this is gonna sound weird but I haven’t ever gotten off just by getting jerked off like that. Usually, it takes more than just a quick handy under the sheets, if you know what I mean… and like, it’s gonna sound even weirder but that thing with the teeth and the tongue honestly sorta _really_ does it for me.”

                Yuuri’s blush spread to his ears as he shuffled on the couch, a smile crawling onto his lips. He seemed to have relaxed a little, content in the knowledge that he hadn’t somehow utterly ruined his chances at a friendship with Viktor… Suddenly, his eyes lit up as though a bright spark had been ignited somewhere in the region of his pre-frontal cortex.

                “Are you hungry at all Viktor?” He asked excitedly, “I mean, I obviously already ate but you haven’t had a proper meal in a while…”

  
                Viktor glanced at the clock on the wall, which read 2:00 PM. He sighed, if it was indeed Sunday he’d have to run to work soon. “It’s fine, I’ll pick something up on the way to the Stop-N-Save. It’s no biggie, I’m kinda used to just winging it on my way out.”

                “Oh, it’s no trouble. I’d already uh, made some stuff while you were out,” Yuuri said, his expression still bright as he spoke “for when you woke up and all that… It’s not much, but it should still taste good reheated”

                “You cook?” Viktor asked as he watched Yuuri rise from his position on the sofa, walking over to the adjacent kitchen-type-area. One of the advantages of living in a shitty two-and-a-half roomer, he realised, was being able to keep his eyes firmly planted on the other man’s pert ass as he made his way around the kitchen, pulling a large Tupperware container out of the fridge.

                _Thank you, whatever deity blessed Yuuri with such well fitting jeans. Truly, you are a benevolent god and protector of Ass Men everywhere. Is this creepy? Maybe it’s creepy. Sorry dad, I am so gay, no grandkids for you._

“A little,” Yuuri said as he leant over the counter after popping the container in the microwave, “nothing fancy, but remember when I said dad wasn’t… well, like this? We didn’t make him starve or anything.”

                The Microwave beeped with a piercing noise. Sometimes, he could’ve sworn it would explode into a burst of smoke and plasma, but at the moment it was magnanimous enough to have warmed up a dish that, quite frankly, smelled rather delicious. Yuuri made his way back to the couch, his face anxious as he popped a bowl of warm rice and pork and something else that made Viktor’s stomach grumble in anticipation into Viktor's lap.

                “There aren’t any bugs in this, are there?” Viktor asked as he poked the food with a fork. He rarely ate anything that was instantly recognisable as _food_ and not sad, sad microwaved lumps of edibles or _Mystery Kebab from Beka’s meat stand._ He almost didn’t trust it. “I agreed to be your blood bag, but I draw the line at being the bug-eating minion.”

                “No, there’s no insects in there,” Yuuri said, quirking a brow in confusion, “It’s just Katsudon. It’s my mum’s recipe and I’m pretty sure she would’ve told me if I needed to add a dash of live spiders to it. ”

                “Sorry, sorry,” Viktor said as he speared a piece of fried pork onto the tip of his fork, “new to the whole _My Roommate’s A Vampire: Now On Skinemax_ business.”

                “Well, I can guarantee you that the bug-eating-minion bit is Hollywood propaganda,” Yuuri said with a sarcastic roll of his eyes, “I’ll forgive you that indiscretion.”

                Viktor popped the forkful of pork and rice into his mouth and was pretty sure he came again. True, it had lost some of its original lustre since it had taken a trip in the nukerator, but he was sure that in its original state it probably would’ve made his lower jaw explode, killing him instantly. He immediately wondered how he had lived on Heat-lamp shawarma and bland frozen mac and cheese until this point because this was clearly how humans were supposed to eat. He wolfed down the hearty portion almost immediately, hoovering it with a passion usually reserved for self-loathing or maladaptive daydreams about chucking it all and becoming a swamp hermit.

                “How was it?” Yuuri asked, his eyes darting between the empty container and Viktor’s face. He fiddled with his fingers slightly, clearly not used to feedback on this sort of thing. He was slightly flighty and anxious, yes, but it was strangely endearing.

                “It was delicious. Honestly, I thought I was dead for a moment…” Viktor said, rustling Yuuri’s hair appreciatively, “honestly it might be worth it to get the old arteries drained just to be able to eat like this.”

                “I’m so glad,” Yuuri said with a relieved smile, “I don’t mind cooking and cleaning for you if you want, it’ll give me something to do during the day…”

                “Oh right, you’ll probably like, die out there, right?” Viktor frowned, looking at the large black curtains which were still drawn, making the apartment seem a little like a giant coffin.

                “Well, not really die but you know,” Yuuri muttered, “it’s just not very fun. Kinda painful, like the worst fucking sunburn you could imagine, times 50… Look like a fucking lobster and I peel everywhere.”

                “Oh gross…” Viktor laughed, wrinkling his nose as he pictured a tub of SPF nine thousand and a pair of adorable little vampire sunnies. “Yeah, it’s probably for the best that you stay in here then. I’m guessing you decided against the whole nana and papa deal then.”

                “It’s probably for the best,” Yuuri said solemnly, “there’s only so many games of bingo a man can stand, free dinner or no.”

                “I’ll keep that in mind, no bingo dates then.” Viktor replied as he stood up, “I should get ready for work though, I’ll never hear the end of it if I skip out again.”

                Viktor made his way back into the bedroom, picking up a bright orange polo shirt and a pair of dark jeans from the floor. It would be clean enough to wear again, so that wouldn’t be too much trouble. He looked at the mirror that hung above his drawer and groaned, noticing the battle damage on his neck. It was covered in bright red, angry looking punctures from where Yuuri’s teeth had cut him open. A strange, dark part of him felt a rush of excitement as he ran his fingers over them, drawing a deep breath from his lungs.

                Yuuri Katsuki might’ve been adorably awkward and unassuming with his large glasses, shy smiles and hearty bowls of rice and pork, but he was also _dangerous_. Still, there was something about those conflicting natures being contained within a single entity that made Viktor’s heart race and his pelvic region tingle.

                He reached into the top drawer and fished about, taking out an old first-aid kit he’d been given when he first moved out years ago. He pulled out some gauze and gently placed it over the wounds, taping it down with some medical tape. He looked back at his reflection, admiring his handy work. He grinned at himself, trying to seem normal and failing miserably.

                He groaned internally, fishing around in a pile of clothes crumpled at the back of a drawer, and pulling out a neglected, black turtleneck, something he’d bought in his college wannabe beatnik phase, the one where he thought about majoring in philosophy and picking up stoner chicks. He threw it on and completed the look with his work polo and threw his hair into a lazy bun. It would have to do, even if he felt he looked truly ridiculous. He threw on his jacket and made for the exit, pausing to say goodbye to Yuuri, only to find him passed out on the couch.

                _Fair enough, I’d be exhausted from all that anxiety too._

He walked briskly down the five blocks that lead to the crumbling, dingy façade of the Stop-N-Save. The sign, orange and faded, stared down from above like an angry god, judging him for being five minutes late. He grumbled a weak greeting as he arrived, stubbing out his cigarette on the old combination ashtray and trashcan outside as he swung the door open.

                Behind the counter, Christophe looked at him with a raised eyebrow, as if he was judging him as badly as the Kwick-Mart deities were. He was sipping one of their cheap, watery coffees as he looked over the edges of his silvery white, wire-framed glasses.

                “See honey, I told you I wasn’t forsaken by my dear Vicky,” He said with a pointed glare.

                “Ah, my mistake,” Said the man who was currently leaning on the counter, a similarly awful coffee in his hands. He was tall and muscular, with a bright, friendly grin and soft, shoulder-length brown hair that made him look like he’d stepped out of a photoshoot for _Vaguely European and Non-Threatening_ magazine. “I should’ve had more faith in you, Mr.Nikiforov.”

                “Don’t worry about it, Adel.” He said with a sigh as he punched in. “I wouldn’t believe in me either.”

                “Do you have a cold Viktor?” Christophe’s fiancé said with another warm smile, “that’s an interesting fashion choice.”

                “Nah, I’m fine.” He muttered, slowly taking his place behind the cash register in the zone of shame. He knew that once Adel had left, Chris would let him have it. “Just a little chilly.”

                “Ah, I see… You know, my mother used to say that if you had a cold, all you had to do was eat a lot of garlic. Just,” the man mimed a chewing motion as he spoke, “chew on a whole clove like that. It was terrible but it always cleared our sinuses right away.”

                “I’ll keep that in mind,” He grumbled sarcastically, thinking about death and how much more preferable that would be over small talk with _Officer Adel Faucheux_ , “if I need weird Normand home remedies I will go for that.”

                The man chuckled warmly, seemingly unfazed by the venom dripping from Viktor’s voice as he leant over and gave Christophe a quick kiss on the cheek. “Be safe, dear. Strange things are afoot, I will see you later. You too, Mr.Nikiforov.”

                He watched him leave through narrowed eyes.

                _I will have to ask Yuuri about that garlic thing. It feels like that would be bullshit. Probably bullshit._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adel Faucheux is the name I gave to the mystery gentleman who is now Chris' Fiancé. He's a little awkward, but nice enough.  
> They met at his old workplace, it's a great story.


	5. Work is Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Viktor goes to work and gets interrogated by Christophe because of course he does.

**** **** **_“From there to here and here to there, funny things are everywhere._ ** **_”_ **

**_\- Dr. Seuss_ **

                “You’ll never fucking believe who came by while you were AWOL,” Christophe said, unable to keep up his pouty silent treatment forever. “I expect an apology in MLA format, by the way, no answers to my calls, my texts for three whole days... I was worried sick Vicky. Anyway, guess.”

                “I know, I know,” Viktor said with a sigh, flashing his best apologetic smile in Christophe’s direction, “Sorry for vanishing for like three days. It was a weird story… Anyway, if it was my dad I’m gonna fucking shit because I haven’t waxed the floors in like a month.”

                “Your ass is safe from the impending wrath of the Stop-N-Save patriarch,” Christophe said with a gentle chuckle, all the tension evaporating from his face as he shook his head, “Nah man, it was JJ _. JJ fucking King_. Apparently shit has been getting weird over at _Bangerz_ since I left, poor kid.”

                “Thank god I missed that one then,” Viktor groaned as he paused his task of cleaning the coffee machines to play with his phone, guiltily deleting the notifications that had piled up over the past few days, “did he at least wear pants this time because I can’t fucking live with him traumatising anymore sweet little old ladies every single time he comes around.”

                “Yeah man, he was in casual mode. Tacky track suit and tank top, but pants were involved,” Christophe said as he chucked an empty Styrofoam cup into the bin in an elegant, fluid motion. “Nothin’ but net... Kobe, baby!”

                “Nice,” Viktor remarked, nodding his head in approval at the perfect 3-point shot, “But weird how though… like _backflip off the stage and do a couple doughnuts in the parking lot before driving off into the sunset_ weird or _cursed changing room where a mystery jock has remained unclaimed for months_ weird?”

                “Viktor Nikiforov, I will have you know the mystery jock in question was only unclaimed for three weeks before we purged its dark energies out beside the dumpster,” Christophe said with a mock hurt tone, “no, I mean people suddenly not showing up anymore. Regulars. Bouncers. The delivery guy who winks at everyone… suddenly gone with no signs of them ever having been there at all. Now maybe I’m just paranoid because Adel’s a cop and all, but this seems bad.”

                Viktor shrugged as he looked at the clock. 12:45 AM. Soon Georgi and Mila would show up to take over their shift and he could go home and… well, he wasn’t quite sure if the usual routine of 'crash for a few hours, have a sad wank to weird internet porn, share a lean cuisine with Makkachin, get stoned to reruns of Chopped and take walk in the park whilst contemplating death and letting Makkachin bounce about' really applied anymore. He sighed slightly, sure he would figure it out as he went along.

                Viktor had, in his 28 years, become a bit of an expert at winging it, rolling with the punches as things came. It was one of the few advantages that came with being aimless and having no real goals or purpose, he supposed.

                “I’m pretty sure the both of you are overthinking it…” Viktor finally said as he wiped down the coffee machine, cleaning it as well as he could so the other employees would be able to make fresh (but terrible) coffee. “You’ve been there for like five years, you know there’s a high turnover rate. I’m sure the customer’s wives just figured out what a _night out with the boys_ entailed and they’re currently in divorce court or something.”

                Christophe shook his head, “maybe you’re right, but something feels fucking off about this summer, man. Maybe it’s just how damn cold it’s been, but it’s fucking weird.”

                Viktor shrugged as he opened up a container of non-dairy coffee creamers, plopping the packets of flavourless grit into a basket so people could pretend like they were enhancing the flavour of the weak bean water. “People fuck off the mortal coil every day, Chris. Maybe they croaked, maybe they moved away, maybe they got raptured and it’s only assholes like us from here on out.”

_It could be anything, honestly. Just last Monday if someone told me vampires were an actual for real thing I would laugh and get them a Gatorade for the hangover they were gonna have to nurse the next morning. Maybe it’s not the best idea to let Chris in on that one though, I don’t think he’d react so well._

                “Maybe, but Adel is still here and we’ve already established that he’s lawful good and absolutely precious so…” Christophe started, picking at some dirt under his fingernails and narrowing his eyes in a manner that screamed that he was going to ask for some good goss, “Speaking of weird, you said your mysterious disappearance was a _weird story_ , wasn’t it Vicky?”

                 “Not that weird…” Viktor muttered, rolling his eyes as he tried to think of a good save, “I met a guy, got a little fucked up and then ended up pretty out of it for a few days.”

_There, it’s honest but also not. Like a baby lie. A lie-let. That way I’m not even doing a bad._

                Christophe’s green eyes immediately brightened, glittering with childlike glee behind the frames of his glasses. “Oh Vicky, you should’ve let me know. What’s his name, or did that get lost in the void of your wild nights of passion?”

                Viktor groaned internally, wishing for instant death, “It’s Yuuri, and no, I doubt you’ve ever met him because he’s not _that kind_ of boy.”

                “You wound me, Vicky. Sure, I’ve been a dirty bastard but I’ve cleaned my act up…” Christophe whined, knowing full well that Viktor wasn’t actually implying anything. All anyone had to do was spend a minute around Adel and him and they would see that the two were sappily, disgustingly in love. “What’s he like? Is he _take-him-home-to-meet-the-old-man_ material or is it more of a _weekend of unbridled passion_ type situation?”

                “Christophe…” Viktor warned, knowing that this whole thing would explode out of proportion if he let this soppy romantic go wild, “he’s cute, alright. Kind of like… you know those guys who hung out in the library all the time back in uni? The ones who squeaked when you talked to them and looked close to dying if you asked them about going to the club sometime… he’s like that.”

                “Interesting…” Christophe said from behind his phone, probably texting everyone about this development, much to his horror. “So, what does a sweet boy like that see in a cantankerous fuck like you? Gimme the details, Nikiforov I’m begging…”

_He sees sweet veins full of delicious lifeblood but I can’t really say that now can I?_

                “I’m not a cantankerous fuck…” Viktor responded, shooting another one of his patented venom filled glares in Christophe's direction, “I’m just realistic about my expectations, in that I have none.”

                Christophe sighed, patting Viktor on the shoulder. His eyes had that repulsively pitying expression he’d learned to recognise from those in happy relationships, the kind that said ‘ _poor little soul, untouched by the light of love. You who knows nothing of our eternal bliss, someday you too will find your soulmate and blah blah blah’_.

_Disgusting. If ever I look like that please just throw a brick at my head._

                He was saved from being told he was being too bitter by the jingle of the alarm, which signalled that someone had opened the door. There, on the threshold stood a tall young redhead gently cradling her arm around the shoulders of a sombre young man with bloodshot blue eyes.

                “Sorry we’re late Viktor, Christophe,” Mila said, gently cocking her head in acknowledgement to her coworkers, “poor Georgi here was watching Titanic with a melted tub of Cherry Garcia and forgot about our carpool.”

                “I’m very sorry, I won’t be late again…” The man muttered darkly, as though a dark storm cloud was swirling behind those blue eyes of his.

_See, there’s that Aura of Despair again. Yikes. Getting good at spotting those, can't lie._

                “Georgi, honey,” Christophe said gently, “How long has it been since you and Anya…”

                “Four weeks, seven hours, thirteen minutes… and about twenty seconds” Georgi said dramatically, as though he had been plunged into the depths of the worst possible sadness, the chasm of ultimate gloom, “an eternity.”

                 “I uh, have some stuff to attend to so…” Viktor said, slowly inching towards the antiquated punch-system at the door. “I’m sure you’ll be happy again, there’s plenty of fish in the sea… please be good, okay?”

                He had never checked out of there so fast in his life. Between the fear of being prodded for more answers re: his new roomie, Georgi’s theatrics and Mila’s curious blue eyes catching on the turtleneck, he did not have any reasons to hang around longer than necessary.

                He pulled up the collar of his jacket, the air was damp and cool with the lingering threat of rain. He walked briskly towards his home, looking forward to going home for a reason other than collapsing under a mountain of blankets for the first time in a long time. He found himself smiling despite himself.

                As he walked out of the parking lot, his eyes fell on a small, young teen, staring at the shop intently. The hood of his black and leopard print sweater was pulled up, probably because of the chill and his face was partially obscured by floppy blonde bangs. He didn't look any older than fifteen, and it was probably past his bedtime which didn't particularly bode well, in Viktor's opinion.

                “Hey kid,” Viktor called out, lighting a cigarette and nodding in the boy's general direction, “If you wanted to buy smokes or Playboys or whatever you’re a bit late. Georgi won’t sell to minors, he’s kind of a stickler like that, and there’s a cop on his way to pick up his fiancé even if he decided to be lenient... Try again tomorrow ok?”

                The kid glared at him, his lips curling up in a petulant sneer that was visible even in the faint glow of the Stop-N-Save sign.

                “Fuck off, old man!” He barked as he turned on his heels and ran away, his footsteps echoing into the dark night as he disappeared around a street corner.

_Weird. Rude. Whatever._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I WONDER WHO THE MYSTERY CHILD IS I BET HE HAS NO BEARING ON THIS PLOT AT ALL.
> 
> HMMM.
> 
> also remember kids: fire is the only effective means through which to dispose of a potentially cursed jockstrap.


	6. Thrice Bitten, Twice Shy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Viktor and Yuuri settle into a strangely domestic routine, Viktor decides to offer his friend another bite to eat, amongst _other things_.

**** **** **_“_ ** **_I feel like horror movies, as much as they're about violence, they're also about sex.”_ **

**_-Drew Goddard_ **

                Viktor and Yuuri had settled into something of a routine over the past few days, which was absolutely fine by Viktor’s standards of living. There was something weirdly comforting about being in a situation that was simultaneously incredibly domestic and utterly fucked up all at once.

                Yuuri, Viktor quickly learned, was pretty ordinary in his habits, minus the whole _otherworldly creature of the night that feasts on the blood of the living_ thing. At the moment, the pair of them were lounging on the couch, Viktor stretching his long legs out over the edge as he rested his head on Yuuri’s lap. A truly wretched soap opera was currently playing out on the television screen, which seemed to have gripped the other man’s attention almost entirely. Usually, the theatrics would’ve sent him into a catatonic state, but there was something genuinely charming about watching the other man’s earnest facial expressions as the events unfolded on screen.

                “So, what just happened now?” Viktor asked as Yuuri let out a particularly scandalised gasp.

                “Well, it turns out that the guy was a robot the whole time, and the dude he was falling in love with was actually the man whose memories his AI was based on…” Yuuri answered as he clutched a cushion violently, hugging it close to his chest as though the emotions were simply too much for him to bear.

                “I see.” Viktor said with a contented yawn as the credits rolled down the screen, “so, what now?”

                “Well…” Yuuri stretched his limbs casually, plopping the cushion back onto the sofa, “you seemed to have something on your mind. What’s up?”

                “I was just thinking it’s been a few days since you moved in right, and you’ve been feeding me this whole time which I really appreciate but I was just kind of feeling a bit useless, not gonna lie.” Viktor said with a sigh, “I guess I was just wondering if you were getting hungry at all.”

                Yuuri cocked his head with a smile, revealing those sharp fangs in a way that made an excited shiver run down Viktor’s spine right into his crotch. “I can still wait for a while if you’re nervous about it Viktor, I wouldn’t want to impose. Besides, like I said I don’t mind cooking and cleaning, it feels nice. Kind of domestic really, like I’ve got a friend to look after.”

                “That is simultaneously the cutest and saddest thing I have ever heard.” Viktor said as he sat back up onto the sofa, swinging his legs back onto the floor in a swift motion, “you’re fucking precious, Katsuki.”

                “Well I mean, to be fair, you _really_ need my help,” Yuuri said with a laugh, “Makkachin would agree. Her li’l eyes just scream ‘ _help him Yuuri, he’s been eating croutons dipped in ranch dressing like it’s an actual meal again’_. I can’t ignore her cries of despair, after all.”

                “It was Caesar dressing, actually,” Viktor muttered, regretting that he’d been caught _in flagrante delicto_. “I can’t defend that but at least I’m not a complete monster…”

                “That does make all the difference,” Yuuri said, nodding, “but it’s like I said, I really don’t mind doing this sort of thing.”

                “Okay, fair enough… but you never really answered my question though.” Viktor said as he tussled Yuuri’s hair affectionately. It was surprisingly soft despite the fact that it typically liked to jut out at unusual angles and never did what its owner wanted. “Are you feeling hungry? You mentioned getting peckish after like three days last time and it’s getting pretty close to that timespan.”

                Yuuri sat silently for a while, seemingly contemplating the situation. His eyes flitted to the floor as he rested his hand on his chin. Finally, he spoke, his voice slightly meek and small, as though the concept of asking for these sorts of things was deeply embarrassing on some level, “if we’re being entirely honest, yes. I’ve been starving… Sometimes I look at you and I want to sink to my knees and beg until you let me have a bite.”

                Viktor swallowed hard as he felt a jolt in his chest and a tight sensation south of his navel. That wasn’t the answer he expected at all… and yet.

                 _You’re an absolute menace, aren’t you?_

                 _Well, Viktor, be cool. Be suave. Do something. I realise that it’s hard to listen to this head in the best of times, but this head is telling you to listen to the other head, ok?_

“Then d-do it.” Viktor found himself murmur, his lips spitting out the words before his mind had the chance to catch up.

                “I didn’t quite catch that, Viktor,” Yuuri said, a slightly nervous, sheepish expression on his face.

                “Do it.” Viktor said again, more confidently, “if you really want to, do it. Beg for it. Grovel.”

                “V-Viktor?” Yuuri whispered, his eyes growing as wide as saucers as the realisation of what Viktor said dawned on him. A pale pink blush crept onto his cheeks as his lip quivered, “are you sure?”

                “Yeah, yeah, I am…” Viktor said, nodding violently as he shuffled on the sofa somewhat, “beg for it, Katsuki.”

                A smile quirked onto Yuuri’s face as he slowly slid off the couch in a smooth, cat-like motion. His cheeks were still tinged with pink as he crept along the floor on all fours, his shoulders rolling in that delightfully animalistic manner that emphasised his scapular muscles in all the right ways. Viktor swallowed as the younger man settled in between his legs, resting his head on his inner thigh, looking up behind long dark lashes with those hungry eyes that seemed to seamlessly blend pupil and dark brown iris, blown out into deep pits in which one could lose themselves.

                “Please Viktor,” Yuuri crooned in a warm purr, his voice breathy and deep, “will you please let me feed?”

                Viktor swallowed hard again, his throat slightly dry as he took in the scene in front of him. Part of him wanted to break immediately, let the other man pin him down and dig those sharp teeth deep into his neck. Instead, he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, trying to ignore the obvious tightness in his jeans as he spoke, his voice hot and heavy with anticipation, “How badly to you want it, Yuuri?”

                Yuuri responded with a deep sigh, his chest heaving as he raised his head, creeping closer to Viktor, closing the space between them even more. He raised his hands and gently ran them along Viktor’s thighs, leaving tingling sparks of excitement on his skin as his fingers grazed them. His lips were parted, his tongue gently running along the tips of his large canines and incisors with excitement. His voice was strained and warm with want, “more than anything. I want you more than you can imagine. I want to feel your skin, I want to hear you gasp and moan as I taste you. I want to smell your excitement as I feel your warm flesh under my lips, your warm blood running down my throat… I want to feel your hips buck, your spine shudder, your hot breath in my ears. I want it all. Please, I’m begging you… Let me feed. Let me please you…”

                Viktor smiled, trying for confident and cool but probably missing it entirely and ending up with a strange lopsided grimace. He gently ran his fingers through the other man’s hair, gently resting his fingers under his chin, tilting his face up to face his, looking into those heavily lidded, twinkling eyes, “…and what would you be willing to do to get all that, Yuuri?”

                “Whatever you want, Viktor,” Yuuri said, a coy smile forming on his face as he seemingly drank in Viktor’s form with his eyes, prying into him. He reached forward, gently brushing his fingertips against the obvious tent that had formed in Viktor’s jeans, “You’re not very subtle, though I must admit that it’s quite charming.”

                Viktor’s hips jolted despite himself as he felt the dainty tease of the other man’s fingers against his arousal. He smiled back down at Yuuri again, a pricking flush on his cheeks. There was something truly captivating about how quickly he seemed to change from a fairly ordinary person to something otherworldly, something hungry, lustful and erotic.

                _That’s because he is literally otherworldly…_

He found his back arching delicately, pushing his hips closer to the edge of the worn, second-hand sofa. He bit his lower lip as he twined his fingers in the other man’s hair. Seeing that soft, gentle face between his legs, looking up at him with hungry eyes and parted lips was making his heart beat faster and his breath catch in his throat. “I never claimed to be a master of subtlety, I’m a man who knows what he wants. The real question here is if you intend to give that to me, Yuuri.”

                “What is it that you want, Viktor?” Yuuri said, cocking his head to the side, the points of his sharp front teeth gently grazing his lower lip as he spoke, “I’m a desperate creature, you know…”

                “What I want,” Viktor said breathlessly, feeling Yuuri’s warm breath on his lap as the other man pulled closer still to the central point, so incredibly close to putting an end to this coy game, “is for you to suck it, babe. Maybe if you’re nice enough, I’ll let you.”

                Viktor could’ve sworn he saw Yuuri’s back arch slightly as the smaller man’s hips shuddered below him, something which made a glimmer of satisfaction pool in his chest.

                _He’s into it too. Nice. God, I just want to fucking give it to him.  
                Baby steps though big boy. You don’t want to ruin it because frankly, and I mean this as your fucking conscience here, Nikiforov, this one is probably the best person you’ll ever meet. Well, not really a person-person but you know, potential true love. Yes, please._

_Now go get it- but be cool for like once in your life._

“I think I’d quite like that…” Yuuri said in a hot pant, leaning forward and gently nuzzling against his crotch, sending a warm shock through Viktor’s pelvic region, “I’ve never done it before but…”

                “Ah, i-is that so?” Viktor shuddered at the contact, his hips pumping forward instinctively, seeking more, “why don’t you come up here and I’ll give you a demonstration?”

Yuuri nodded enthusiastically, a hungry smirk quirking on his face as he gently made his way back up onto the sofa, moving fluidly and quickly, propping himself onto the arm as he sprawled out across the space. Viktor smiled back as he pivoted on the couch to face the other man, taking in the details of the tableau. He felt a pleasant warmth in his chest as he looked at Yuuri’s face, flushed and hungry, his tongue creeping out to lap excitedly at his lower lip. His dark eyes twinkled behind the frames of his glasses, full of eagerness and anticipation.

                “God, you’re so fucking cute,” Viktor muttered as he bent down, nestling in between the other man’s legs. “You’re lucky this is like, my favourite fucking thing to do.”

                _Smooth._

_God, maybe you can shut up and never speak again, Nikiforov. “Favourite fucking thing”, get outta town..._

Viktor leant down gently, trying to recover from that, _awfully smooth_ dirty talk. He took the other man’s zipper in between his teeth and pulled it down, a move he had perfected in college. He grinned as he slowly eased the jeans from the other man’s hips, noting with a little rush of excitement that Yuuri was clearly just as aroused as he was. He palmed over the warm, hard bulge in the other man’s boxers, trying not to jump head first into things.

Yuuri shuddered at the contact, making a gentle throaty noise as he threw his head back onto the armrest. His hips moved despite themselves as Viktor peeled the grey underthings down, also with his teeth (a move he’d learned from Christophe and was infinitely thankful for, but would not be sending a ‘thanks for the blowjob lessons’ card over anytime soon).

_Oh god, of course, he’s got a porn star cock. Nice.  
                I don’t know what I did to deserve this fucking gift but thank you, whatever deity is looking after me now._

 Viktor let out a contented sigh as he raised his right arm to Yuuri. The other man cocked his head to the side, an interrogative eyebrow raised as he met the hand with his own lifting it to his face and resting it on his chin.

                “Eat,” Viktor said with a smile, trying to make his voice deep and commanding, “you’re hungry, right? I’ll take care of this while you take care of your appetite.”

                Yuuri’s eyes widened as he sat up slightly to get a better angle at which to go for the soft skin on the interior of Viktor’s forearm. He gave the skin a tentative lick, as though he was testing it with his tongue. Whatever it was the other man was searching for, he found it as he gently prodded the flesh with his fangs, slowly sinking his teeth into the soft skin, humming contentedly as he did.

                Viktor felt a warm, tingly heat around the bite as Yuuri’s tongue lapped at the blood that started pooling from the puncture wounds, his lips hungrily sucking on the pale skin. There was definitely something analgesic in the other man’s saliva that made the teasing of his teeth and tongue less cruel, turning them into a numb warmth that spread all over his limbs, filling Viktor with a soft warm contentedness. He couldn’t help but let out a soft gasp of pleasure as he turned his attention to Yuuri’s twitching cock.

                He lapped at the head, tasting the salty bitterness of a bead of precum as he experimentally massaged it with the wet muscle, gently pushing down his foreskin. He felt Yuuri’s warm breath on his wrist as he let out a sharp, excited gasp, revelling in the teasing of Viktor’s tongue.

                “Viktor… more… more please,” The other man panted, his cock throbbing against Viktor’s tongue as though it was begging for extra attention. Viktor allowed his eyes to trail up for a moment, gleefully appreciating the flushed red face of the man above him, saliva and blood smeared on his lips, a thin trail of scarlet blood dribbling from the tip of his tongue onto his chin as he parted his lips to let out small, choked gasps and throaty moans.

                Viktor acquiesced to the other man’s desires, taking more of him into his mouth, running his tongue along the bottom of his thick member as he bobbed his head, wrapping his free fingers around everything that didn’t quite fit. There was something exciting about every sound he drew out of the smaller man, tiny intrusions that broke the rhythm of his lapping tongue, as though he wasn’t quite sure what instinct he wanted to fulfil first. He occasionally met the resistance of rocking hips, making him gag slightly as Yuuri’s cock hit the back of his throat.

                It was definitely quite a bit _bigger_ than anything he’d had experience with, but Viktor chalked it up to the supernatural nature of the other man. Still, that was definitely something he could live with, something he was entirely _into_.

                _I’m pretty sure I could take that with enough prep._

He couldn’t help but hear himself moan around the thick organ as the other man opened the pinpricks on his wrist more deeply, tearing into them and hungrily probing them with his tongue, as though he simply could not get enough of the taste.

                “Viktor,” Yuuri purred, his voice heavy with lust and pleasure, “you taste so good… your mouth is so fucking nice and warm and tight. I-I need more…please, Viktor.”

                Viktor pulled back, drawing a needy whimper from Yuuri as he did. He looked up into those dark eyes once more, appreciating the deep warmth of desire that seemed to simmer within them. His soft, plump lips were affixed to his skin, desperately trying to draw more blood and flick it down his throat as though he was utterly parched. Viktor smiled at him, the sides of his mouth slightly sore from the strain of sucking the other man off, saliva all over his chin and cheeks.

                “You can fuck it, if you want,” Viktor finally said, fairly certain his tone sounded more like a request than a suggestion, “my throat, I mean…”

                Yuuri let out an excited moan as he bucked his hips forward in anticipation. Viktor’s heart raced as he took him back into his mouth, gently running his tongue down the underside of the other man’s cock as he slid down as much as he possibly could, enveloping him. Yuuri’s hips immediately jutted forward, seeking more of the wet heat of Viktor’s mouth and throat. Viktor hummed around Yuuri’s dick as the other man thrust his hips with a fervent glee, the desperation of his movements matching the desperation with which his tongue sought more of Viktor’s warm blood.

                Viktor’s eyes rolled back in pleasure as he let the other man stuff his throat with his hot dick, choking slightly every once in a while, as the other man’s thick head slammed into the back of his throat. His movements quickened, becoming disjointed and frenetic as he let out a series of throaty grunts and moans. Viktor felt Yuuri thread his long fingers in his hair as he fucked his mouth, long claws slightly digging into his scalp as he ran his fingers through the long silvery tresses, “ah- fuck Viktor, it’s like you were born for this…f-fuck…”

                He felt the younger man’s hips quiver as he stalled, his hard member throbbing as he came in thick rivulets down Viktor’s throat. He let out a sharp gasp as he lapped a final long, damp line across Viktor’s wrist. Viktor felt the other man shudder, his hips rolling under him, and smiled internally in cocky satisfaction. He slowly pulled back from Yuuri’s softening cock, steadying himself with his unbitten wrist, looking up at him with soft eyes, wanting to grin but fundamentally unable to do so due to the general ache in his jaw.

                _It’s been too long since I did that, but man, man oh man does that feel awesome. Still got it, baby._

“How was it this time, Yuuri?” Viktor asked, wiping drool and cum off on the back of his sleeve.

                “Wha?” The other man murmured dreamily, still coming down from what seemed like a powerful orgasm, his chest heaving as he ran a hand through his dishevelled hair. His eyes were glassy, unfocused as though they were filled with starlight. “Fuck me Viktor that was… holy shit… oh my god…”

                _Nice. Another one for the mental Rolodex then._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey now, no one said I wasn't entirely self-indulgent.  
> sorry I'm so gay and self-indulgent (only not really, sorry mom and dad this is the man you have unleashed onto this earth).
> 
> also I figured Viktor deserved a good time before that next chapter offers him some... less fun times :'>


	7. In which Viktor Loses his Shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a very good upturn in his life, Viktor's evening goes to shit.  
> Between another confrontation with the angry kid from the other day and a regrettable incident involving something he definitely never wanted to see, things start getting a little fucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up, this chapter has some mild body horror and also a description of a cadaver getting munched on, so if you want to skip it there's a TL;DR in the bottom notes.

**** **** **_“_ ** **_They’re eating her... Then they’re going to eat me… OH MY GOD!”_ **

**_-Arnold, Troll 2_ **

                Viktor groaned as his phone buzzed against the floor. The largest part of him wanted to scream and chuck it out a window and continue basking in Yuuri’s afterglow, but he figured that he should probably be an adult and check to see what it was. He regretted it almost instantly.

                “It’s Christophe…” He sighed, clicking his tongue, “We’re closing the shop tomorrow since it’s an actual holiday for once, but since we never close I totally forgot to give him the keys.”

                Yuuri let out a distressed whimper as Viktor rose from the sofa. He gave him a gentle smile, tussling the other man’s hair.

                “It’s okay, I’ll be back soon… Just gonna pop on over and lock up,” He said softly, “and then we can get you some dessert or something.”

                He peeled off his sweater as he jauntily made his way to the bedroom, figuring that it would probably be unprofessional to show up looking as though he’d been freshly fucked (even though he figured that it would probably be apparent with his messy hair and bruised lips). He quickly threw on an old t-shirt from the pile of freshly laundered clothing on the bed, a grey thing he’d found at the thrift store that said “#1 GRANDMA” on it in dark red comic sans.

                It was ironic. Clever in that it was utterly stupid.

                He reached into the First Aid kit on the dresser and slapped a large adhesive bandage on his wrist. He then wiped his face with a damp moisturising towelette, although this was less for skincare’s sake and more to make sure he wasn’t covered in his own spit and various other fluids.

                He looked at himself in the mirror and winked. Besides looking totally fucked up and covered in all sorts of bandages, he looked pretty damn good.

                He gave Yuuri a quick wave as he made his way out, smiling like a darned fool as he walked fast into the twilit air. The weather was surprisingly nice, making Viktor feel properly dressed in his light jacket for a change. Maybe it was because of his extracurriculars, or maybe it was the light rush of adrenaline and affection in his chest, but for once Viktor felt genuinely excited.

                _Is this what people who aren’t depressed get to feel like all the time? I could get used to this…_

                He lit a cigarette as he made his way down the block, trying to change the taste in his mouth as he walked with a swing in his hips and a song in his heart. If he’d been so inclined, he might whistle, although he was not so he took a long drag off his cancer stick instead.

                He gave Christophe a friendly wave as he approached the _Stop-N-Save_ , which looked almost unfamiliar and eerie with the lights off and the sun-bleached OPEN sign flipped over, revealing a significantly shinier and glossier CLOSED side. He popped the key in the lock and locked the door with a satisfying click.

                “You like, actually look happy today,” Christophe said with a smile as he leant on Adel’s car, sipping from the edge of his Styrofoam coffee cup. “I’m guessing things are going well with your Yuuri then?”

                “You wouldn’t even know, my guy,” Viktor said with a contented smile. "He's adorable, Chris."

                “You just got laid,” Christophe said with a knowing nod and a wink as he chucked the empty cup into the trashcan outside the door, “nice.”

                Viktor shrugged dismissively, “is it really that obvious, did I really look that fucking desperate before?”

                “Nah bruv,” Christophe said with a warm grin, “but it makes all the difference. Good for you Vicky, get that good dick.”

                “You have a way of making it all sound so… filthy you know that?” Viktor said with a chuckle. The other man was rough around the edges, but he was still fundamentally good despite it all.

                “We have to get going darling,” Adel called from inside the car, his voice sounding slightly distressed, as though he would rather be doing anything besides listening to the two talk about Viktor’s sex life.

                _Oddly prudish for someone who has to put up with Chris, isn’t he?_

“I’ll let you lovebirds go…” Viktor said, offering a half-hearted wave at Adel’s direction.

                “Thank you so much,” The long-haired man said with a friendly grin as Christophe climbed into the passenger seat, “Take care Mr.Nikiforov, you’re looking a little anaemic there.”

                “I will…” He said, biting back the instinct to make some sort of sarcastic remark as he waved at the pair as they drove off into the night, “asshole.”

                He stretched casually, stubbing out the remainder of his cigarette and chucking the butt into the trash before turning around and making his way back home. He wasn’t gonna let that get him down, he’d decided. This was a rare good mood and he was going to cling onto it with all the strength of Atlas carrying the globe on his shoulders.

                As he made his way out of the parking lot, he noticed a familiar face, another new part of his routine. The blonde kid from the other day had taken to standing on the edge of the parking lot for some reason, his bottle-green eyes fixed on the faded orange _Stop-N-Save_ sign. Viktor wasn’t gonna let him ruin his afterglow either.

                “Yo kid, we’re closed,” Viktor called out as he walked over to the little guy. Despite the mild weather, the boy was still wearing the hood of his sweater pulled over his head, his hands buried in his pockets as he sneered as usual. “I don’t know if you’re trying to plan a robbery, but it’s best to do it when Georgi’s on shift because the guy is kind of… emotionally unbalanced. There’s like nothing in the safe or anything like that so you’re kind of wasting your time anyway, not gonna lie... I’d go for the liquor store or something instead if I were you.”

                “I’m not going to steal anything, old man,” The boy spat back, his voice thickly tinged with the hints of a familiar Russian accent and clear anger issues, “I’m looking for someone.”

                “Looking for someone huh?” Viktor said, “well, there’s a bunch of people who work here so… I'm going to need you to be more specific there, little buddy.”

                “Yeah.” He replied, pulling a phone out of his pocket. The case was black, with large pointed studs embedded in faux leather which struck Viktor as being vaguely impractical, “I lost my little piggy. Have you seen him?”

                The young man pointed his screen at Viktor as if to make a point. There, on the flat surface was a blurry photograph, taken from behind in low light. From what Viktor could make out, a person was moving quite fast, barely seen under the streetlights. Large, dark bat-like wings jutted from the figure’s shoulder blades as they seemed to be making their way towards someone, a slouched silhouette with the faint glow of a cigarette in their hand.

                Viktor’s blood ran cold as his pulse stalled. Little fucker knew what was up.

                “That’s cute. Is that from some sort of movie?” Viktor replied, trying to sound casual, as though he wasn’t a moment away from snatching the phone out of the kid’s hand and chucking it across the street, “it’s a bad idea for a li’l kid like you to get involved with older guys anyway. They’re nothing but trouble, and they don’t even call you back in the morning. Trust me on this one, you’re best sticking with awkward make-out sessions with the star quarterback under the bleachers, maybe a sneak a quick peek in the showers after gym class… that sort of thing. It’s more your speed.”

                “It’s not like that,” The boy spat again, his face turning bright red as he shoved his phone back into his pocket. He glared at Viktor with hate in his eyes as he seemingly desperately attempted to regain his composure, “fuck you.”

                “That’s just unnecessary and rude…” Viktor said with a sigh, trying to sound vaguely sympathetic but probably missing the mark, “you should probably get going. It’s not a good idea for kids to hang out too late, grown-ups might think you’re up to something. Take care now.”

                _That was a little extra, Nikiforov… Maybe you could try not being such an asshole. I don’t know what this kid’s issue is, but that was a little low._

He gave the kid a dismissive wave as he made his way briskly out of the parking lot, leaving him sputtering and red-faced. Maybe he should make sure the little guy hadn’t had an aneurysm, but at the same time, he definitely didn’t want to spend more time around someone who seemed to have way too much information about his current living situation… not to mention, that _my little piggy_ talk was vaguely disconcerting, as though he seemed aware of Yuuri’s existence (and was rude as all get out about it).

                _I’m gonna ask him about it when I get home. It’s probably nothing._

                He furrowed his brows as he briskly walked home. He was vaguely put off by the boy but figured that he was just some little punk, kind of impotent but angry. He sighed.

                Things seemed to be getting more and more complicated, but then again maybe that just naturally accompanied meaning. Before he met Yuuri, things had been rote and simple, yes, but they’d also been vaguely pointless, as though he was just coasting through life until the day he finally died. At least now, he posited, there was a point to going home at night, a point to waking up. He was _needed._

                It was a thought that was simultaneously comforting and distressing all at once.

                His thoughts were interrupted by a strange noise for the second time in a while. At first, he thought maybe the little leopard print fucker had come back to fuck with him, but that didn’t quite seem right. The noise was inhuman, a strange fleshy, tearing noise accompanied by what sounded like heavy breathing. He squinted ahead, noticing a form under the lone orange glow of a streetlight. He walked closer hesitantly, not sure what to think…

                He immediately regretted that decision.

                The figure was hunched over on all fours, causing its scapula and spine to protrude in a vaguely beast-like fashion. Dark hair flopped in front of its face, tangled and unkempt as it bowed its head. In the dim light, Viktor made out flashes of gleaming white teeth, too many, too large as the thing ate voraciously, panting as it did. Bony, elongated fingers tore into… what Viktor could only assume was something that was once a person, a vaguely human-shaped pile of limbs and viscera on the pavement. He felt himself freeze in place, retching at the sickly scent of iron that filled the air as the beast continued its disgusting feast, unaware of the intruder.

                What disturbed Viktor the most, however, were the familiar tattoos on the thing’s body, the tacky maple leaf on its bicep and the telltale initials on its lower back…

                He felt creeping horror as the thing that was once JJ Leroy lifted its large head, those eyes that had once been deep blue and aggressively heterosexual now empty glowing pits, vacant and pale. His mouth, usually cocked in an overconfident smirk that belied a deep-set fear of failure and insecurity was now hanging inorganically open, blood and gore smeared all over his chin, large double rows of needle-like teeth gleaming with saliva and tinted red, looking almost luminescent under the neon streetlamp.

                The guy had been a bit of a prick, but no one deserved to become something like that.

                JJ let out a strange noise, a shrill warble of acknowledgement as he lowered his head once more, tearing into what looked like a woman’s thigh.

                Viktor ran as fast as he could, praying that the thing would be satisfied with its meal. He was never as relieved to see the ugly concrete building in which he lived as he was at that moment. He bolted up the stairs, slamming the door shut and locking all three locks and the deadbolt as fast as he could.

                Yuuri looked at him with wide eyes, worry and concern painting their way onto his soft face, “Viktor, what’s wrong, you look absolutely horrified… You’re trembling! Did something happen out there?”

                The vampire walked over slowly, wrapping his surprisingly strong arms around him, cradling his head on his shoulder, gently stroking his back with a warm hand.

                “Yuuri…” Viktor finally said, his voice strained with panicked tremors and sobs, “I saw a fucking CHUD. He was a fucking CHUD, Yuuri… What the fuck... Why was he a fucking CHUD?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TL;DR for those who don't want to deal with potential gory nastiness:  
> Viktor goes to lock up the store, is confronted by the angry blonde kid from earlier who asks him about his missing _piggy_ (complete with damning photographic evidence of a blurry winged humanoid about to pounce on what appears to be a slouching figure smoking a cigarette).
> 
> then, as if things can't possibly get worse, he stumbles across the thing that was once presumably JJ Leroy chomping on some poor lady. Then he books it and has a well-deserved freak out.
> 
> \--  
> In the last line, he's referencing the film _C.H.U.D.S_ , which is a pretty trashy horror film in which some four-eyed humanoid beasties crawl out of the sewers and feast on the unsuspecting populace of NYC (and one dog). John Goodman is in it, it's exactly what you think it is.
> 
> poor Viktor, and things were going so well too... :'>


	8. In which Yuuri Tries to be comforting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Viktor discusses the nature of the horrible thing he stumbled upon as Yuuri comforts him.  
> And then he takes Yuuri up on his offer because sometimes, you just have to take your head off things by taking your _head_ off things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this one is like the inverse of the other chapter as things start off bad for poor Viktor but then end pretty well. ;>
> 
> Yuuri cares and does his best, but bless his heart...  
> *pokes the Morally Ambiguous tag and sighs*  
> He's kind of a pragmatic about these things, isn't he?

**** **** **_“_ ** **_How strange when an illusion dies. It’s as though you lost a child.”_ **

**_-Judy Garland_ **

                “I’m sorry, I didn’t quite get that…” Yuuri murmured gently in the other man’s ear, gently attempting to soothe him with gentle pats on the back. Viktor wrapped his arms around Yuuri’s torso, pulling closer and burying his face in the other man’s neck. “Take a moment to breathe, it’s ok… you’re safe.”

                Viktor nodded softly as he caught his breath, inhaling Yuuri’s calming scent. He smelled earthy, with an almost citrusy quality. It reminded him of the evening primroses in the old faded window boxes at his father’s apartment, blooming in bright yellow against the dark night sky.

                He finally gently pulled back, looking into those warm dark eyes, filled with worry and affectionate concern.

                “I saw a thing… I don’t know what to call it but it was super fucked up. It just had these bright glowing eyes and like a million teeth and it was like...” Viktor stammered as he tried to describe the thing, “and it was wearing the skin of this guy I know and eating this girl… I think it was a girl...”

                Yuuri quirked his brows pensively for a moment as he took in the information, finally letting out a sigh of relief and chuckling as he seemed to have understood what Viktor was getting at.

                “Oh, thank god, I thought there was something actually dangerous out there…” The other man said hugging Viktor tighter, “don’t worry Viktor, it's just an imp. They’re slightly unpleasant but mostly harmless. They’re blind, nasty, useless things. Unless you scream… you didn’t scream, did you?”

                Viktor shook his head violently, utterly baffled by the fact that the other man was laughing. “No, I just ran home… he was eating a leg, Yuuri. That was a leg…”

                “Yeah, that’s… gruesome, they do that,” Yuuri replied with a sigh, gently running his fingers through Viktor’s hair, returning to a gentle, soothing tone. “It’s okay, it won’t hurt you, I promise. They’re scared of almost everything, things like me included.”

                “If they’re so afraid of everything why did… how did it get Jean-Jacques like that?” Viktor said weakly, shuddering as he remembered the way that jaw hung open, as though it were broken… “was he always like that, or…?”

                Yuuri looked into Viktor’s eyes, a sad, almost pitying expression on his face as he shook his head. “I’m afraid your friend is gone. If it makes you feel better, it’s painless when they infect a host, he probably didn’t even suffer. Their young just kind of climb in when you scream, just attach themselves to your brainstem and over the next few days they change you into… how did you put it… a _CHUD_. Apparently, you feel really euphoric when they do that though, so I mean at least he went out feeling okay about it.”

                “That doesn’t make me feel better at all…” Viktor said softly, “I mean he was an asshole but no one deserves that… not to mention whoever he was chewing on.”

                “I know baby…” Yuuri said softly, gently stroking Viktor’s cheek as he spoke, “I’m sorry your friend got infected by a parasite. You’re safe though. Not many _nightfolk_ would want to deal with a vampire so you’re safe.”

                “You seem a little blasé about the whole thing, I’m not gonna lie…” Viktor said, his breath slowing as he slumped against Yuuri, inhaling more of that slightly floral scent. There was a tinge of something stronger under it, a sharp sweetness that he couldn’t place. “I mean, I guess that he didn’t suffer at least but… it still feels wrong.”

                “No offence Viktor,” Yuuri sighed, a note of melancholy in his voice as he rested his head against Viktor’s, “but you remember what I am right? I’m not that different from the thing that crept into your buddy. I’m still a parasite, the only difference is that you agreed to be my host.”

                “No, you’re not…” Viktor said, shaking his head. He felt foolish, small, like a little boy arguing about the existence of Santa Claus, “it’s different. The relationship we have… it’s like when those little birds pick leeches out of crocodiles’ mouths. It’s mutually beneficial. Symbiotic, they call it.”

                “Oh Viktor,” Yuuri said with a dreary laugh, “as much as I appreciate the sentiment, you know that parasitism is a form of symbiosis, too right? Ultimately only serving one party, yes, but symbiotic all the same... I mean, I’m very happy to have you and care for you deeply, but I’m still about as good for you as a tick would be.”

                “Okay but you’re serving me fine too,” Viktor said sternly. “Don’t talk about yourself like that. I like you Yuuri, I’m not forced to do this, you know…”

                “You’re right Viktor,” Yuuri said with a slightly melancholic smile, “if it upsets you, I’ll do my best not to talk like that. I really do appreciate everything you do for me… Would you like to sit down, I made you some curry, it should still be warm. You should try to relax… Please, try to have a bite and breathe, okay?”

                Viktor nodded as he gently sat down on the corner of the sofa, his movements tentative and slow. He was still shaken by what he had seen, yes, but if what Yuuri was saying was true, there must be some strange hierarchy around what he called _nightfolk_ … strange things that seemed to exist just out of the way enough for most people never to notice them. Dangerous things that crawled into your mouth and wore your skin and preyed on things like him and lurked just below the surface. He pulled the throw blanket on, wrapping himself up in a warm, protective cocoon of fabric. He watched Makkachin sleeping in her bed in the corner, her paws twitching as she dreamt of something simple.

                Maybe she was onto something. Live ignorantly, get snacks, be fundamentally happy.

                Yuuri sat next to him, a warm sympathetic smile on his face as he handed him a large bowl of red curry with rice. Viktor ate wordlessly, still absorbing the existence of this strange, dark world that existed concurrently with his normal daily existence. It was strange, surely Yuuri’s presence had been a sign that there were things he didn’t know about that crept about in the dark, and yet it only struck him now.

                The curry itself was delicate, the spiciness of it balanced perfectly with a hint of sweetness and the umami of vegetables and poultry in the sauce. In a sense, Viktor supposed that Yuuri had been right the first time they’d spoken, this wasn’t too different from the nasty, gaping creature digging into that thigh… and yet, here he was, utterly distraught at that loss of life.

                Strangely hypocritical. Maybe the self-important vegans of the world had been onto something, but then he remembered that you still needed someone to grow the quinoa in the blazing hot sun for little to no pay anyway. It was literally impossible to exist without causing someone to suffer.

                Maybe Yuuri was the one who was onto something with his weirdly detached attitude towards death.

                Yuuri leant against him gently, rubbing his head against his shoulder affectionately as he ate and overthought things for the millionth time. He finished, plopping the bowl onto the ground and flopping against the back of the sofa, gently running his fingers through his hair with a sigh, trying to make sense of things was pointless right now anyway. Things happened and it was just too much, that was a universal constant of life. Not even a biggie, just a nasty gremlin thing running around wearing JJ as a pair of pyjamas…

He glanced over at Yuuri, who seemed to be nervously fiddling with his fingers…

                “What’s up?” Viktor asked, stretching casually.

                “I’m just trying to find ways to calm you down, I mean I’ve been trying to use my pheromones but I’m not very good at controlling them and I want to be more useful to you, especially since you’re so distraught…” Yuuri said with a weak smile.

                “Is your offer from earlier still on the table because I could go for that,” Viktor muttered, thinking with his other head because that was easier.

                Yuuri nodded excitedly, perking up. He leant closer to Viktor, nuzzling his neck gently, resting his head in the crook of his neck. Viktor felt a warm shudder go down his spine as the other man whispered breathily in his ear, “of course Viktor. I would love to… I’m not going to lie, I was hoping you’d still be up for it.”

                Yuuri gently traced the lines of Viktor’s thighs with his fingertips as he planted warm kisses on his jaw. He found himself flinching, instinctively expecting sharp teeth to follow those soft lips and feeling almost disappointed when none followed. Almost.

                He shuddered as the other man’s fingers gently ghosted over his rapidly hardening crotch, the softest, most fleeting teasing contact possible. He squirmed, his hips shifting slightly as he felt the warm tingle of interest and arousal in his lap.

                “You’re ah, such a tease, Y-Yuuri Katsuki,” Viktor whimpered with a soft moan as Yuuri’s lips sucked on his neck, surely leaving a lovebite amongst the actual bite marks littered on his skin. There was something exciting about being so obviously marked, so obviously wanted by someone. “You sure you n-never ah, fucking done this before?”

                “I absolutely am, Viktor,” Yuuri murmured in his ear, punctuating his sentence with a gentle nip, “it’s not my fault you react so delightfully. I just like you so much, I can’t help myself.”

                “You know, that’s not a very nice way to cheer me up...” Viktor said plaintively, his hips bucking forward as they sought more contact. Yuuri was kind enough to acquiesce to his body’s demand, rubbing his palm against the erection that was straining against his jeans. A groan formed in his throat as he ground his hips against the other man’s hand, desperate and hot.

                “I’m sorry, Vitya,” He purred in his ear, “it’s okay, I’ll take good care of this, okay… I’ll be a good little symbiote.”

                His long, delicate fingers gripped the zipper, easing it down and freeing the heat of Viktor’s length as he let out a drawn-out sigh of relief. Yuuri made a satisfied, crooning noise in his throat as he hooked his fingers into the waistband of Viktor’s jeans, pulling them down along with his briefs in a fast, fluid moment. Viktor hissed slightly as the cool air hit his hard member.

                Viktor saw Yuuri lick his chops from the corner of his eyes and shuddered with anticipation once more.

                _He’s way too fucking good at this. Not fair._

_Existential crisis who? Moral dilemmas? Nah I don’t know her._

                “Oh god yes,” Viktor groaned, rocking his head back onto the cushion of the sofa as he bucked his hips forwards, meeting Yuuri’s warm tongue as the other man gave his head an experimental lap. The other man smiled as his dark eyes flitted up, meeting Viktor’s blue ones as he closed his mouth around the tip of his cock, the warm wet muscle gently pivoting around, exploring, and prodding at it, seeking out the sensitive regions that made Viktor’s hips quiver. “Suck it, babe. God you're so fucking hot down there...”

                Yuuri’s dark lashes fluttered as he bobbed his head rhythmically, hollowing his cheeks as he sucked hard, his tongue lapping at him, massaging the warm thick flesh on Viktor’s cock. Viktor gently ran his fingers through the other man’s thick head of hair, pushing his black bangs out of his face as he watched him hungrily take the entirety of Viktor’s length into the hot, wet chasm of his mouth, dragging the sharp points of those predatory fangs ever so slightly over the tender skin.

                “Nn- Fuck…” He gasped as he felt the tightening of Yuuri’s throat as he swallowed around the organ, letting out soft moans around his cock. “Teeth…please Yuuri...”

                Yuuri’s eyes flew open as he met Viktor’s eyes once more, an inquisitive playfulness twinkling within. He could’ve sworn he could make out a small, mischievous smile pulling on the corners of the other man’s lips as he dipped down once more, teasing the base of his cock with the points of his teeth. Viktor’s grip on the soft dark hair tightened as he moaned at the slightly painful twinge of stimulation. He wouldn’t last much longer but it didn’t matter at all.

                He shuddered, his hips jutting forward as he finally felt a familiar tightness in his gut. His entire lower body felt weightless, warm, and tingly as he pulled the other man’s head back with a desperate jerk of his wrist. Yuuri let out an almost inquisitive noise as Viktor gasped sharply.

                He saw starlight once more as his eyes rolled back. His breath was shallow as his heart fluttered in his chest. His muscles felt numb as he came, his hard cock throbbing violently as thick strands of cum painted the other man’s face. He looked strangely beautiful, his eyes wide and gleaming with excitement, his hair dishevelled as he hungrily wiped the warm, sticky fluid off his face with his delicate fingers, cleaning them off with his powerful tongue.

                “Feeling better, Vitya?” He asked, cocking his head and winking, “please warn me next time though babe, you almost hit me in the eye.”

                _Thank you, sir... Fuck me._ Viktor thought as his heart tightened at the way the nickname rolled off his lips.


	9. Resonate with me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Viktor is finally forced to face his commitment issues and the nature of his relationship with Yuuri  
> (aka the porn with feelings chapter)

**** **** **_“_ ** **_I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?”_ **

**_-Beck, Loser_ **

                Viktor groaned as the alarm went off, loudly playing a 90s-alternative hit, much to Viktor’s chagrin. He was quite fond of the song, secretly being an overgrown adolescent who had never quite moved on from the  _self-pitying navel-gazing about his own insecurities_ phase of his life. However, at the moment, Beck was interrupting his precious sleep with his self-loathing anthem and affirmations of being a loser, and therefore was the object of Viktor’s scorn for a few minutes.

                He stretched his arms out, fumbling for his phone in order to shut everything up. After blindly grappling, he found the damn device and slid his thumb across the touchscreen, finally returning the room to its silent state. He threw his hand over his eyes as he sat up, blocking out the entire world as he tried to collect his thoughts.

                _So, Nikiforov, let’s recap. JJ King is running around eating people because he’s kind of been turned into a freaky skinsuit and that’s fine… then you got adorable ass Yuuri Katsuki, bloodsucker extraordinaire, to suck you off because you had an existential crisis about your place on the food chain… It’s fine. Not the most embarrassing thing you ever did, not even in the top ten saddest pity blowjobs you’ve gotten in your life._

_No, that honour goes to crying like a little bitch after cumming all over his face because he fucking called you “Vitya” and fucking begging him not to leave you alone for the night. That part was pretty embarrassing but passable, but you then laid down on the floor in the bathroom while he cleaned up in the shower and whimpered about how unfair it was that we needed to eat things to live._

_Smooth. Criminal._

_If he’s next to you in this bed, just do yourself a favour and spontaneously combust._

                He glanced over and sure enough, there was a gently snoozing lump curled up in the duvet next to him, dark hair looking even darker against the soft white bedclothes. Viktor felt his face tingle with a hot blush as he groaned internally. He watched the gentle rise and fall of Yuuri Katsuki’s shoulders as he breathed, the blankets shuddering slightly as he did. It was strangely soothing, even if Viktor wanted to die from mortification, especially considering he was entirely sober when the whole debacle had taken place. Still, Yuuri had been nothing but kind and gentle to him that evening, even if he felt like he probably didn’t quite deserve it.

                He heard a soft groan and gentle shuffling as the other man stirred, his eyes still bleary and unfocused as he woke up. He gave Viktor a lazy smile as he rolled over, gently running a hand through his raven hair.

                “Are you feeling better today, Vitya?” Yuuri asked with a gentle yawn, stretching slightly as he spoke. He sat up, his face kind and soft as he cocked his head curiously.

                “Yeah, a little…” Viktor said, pulling up the blankets as he tried to hide the subtle blush that bit at his cheeks whenever he heard the diminutive, “sorry about that.”

                Yuuri shook his head, a soft, sympathetic expression on his face as he gently stroked Viktor’s cheek, the points of his long claws gently dragging along his flushed skin. He laid a soft kiss on his forehead, his lips leaving a pleasant tingle on his flesh. “It’s okay, you’re allowed to have emotions. I shouldn’t have been so cavalier about the whole thing. I forgot that it’s difficult for you to come to terms with death. I’m sorry…”

                They sat in silence for a while, the air tense and heavy with unspoken tension that made Viktor’s skin feel too tight. The quiet was unbearable, almost threatening to drive him wild as something dark seemed to pour from his brainstem down his spine, filling the entirety of his hollow torso with anxiety and feelings he’d prefer to have tucked away.

                “So, like, what are we now?” Viktor finally asked, the words tumbling out of his lips before he could stop them. He hated himself for a moment, knowing that whenever he asked the question the outcome was inevitably disappointing, “I’ve kind of never cried in front of anyone before, not even when they shot Bambi’s mum...”

                That was why he left it to the other, always. It was a self-preservation mechanism for his ego, inherently selfish. He couldn’t fear meaning, fear commitment, fear being _needed_ and _needing_ others if he kept his relationships vague, allowing whatever interpretation suited his partner best. It worked about as well as anything else he did if he was frank. A calculated risk by someone who just never bothered to actually do the math.

                _No wonder Chihoko said I have no soul. I wonder what she's up to..._

                But now he had broached it, in his freshly peeled and violently shaken state, the eggshell he had built had been breached by the hard egg teeth of panic. His metaphorical sweater was about to be unravelled by one Yuuri Katsuki, holding the thread between his fingers, leaving him bare.

                He wanted an undo button, he wanted to pretend that they were just _fuck friends_ or a _parasite and its host_ or whatever it was they were but instead, he had stupidly sought confirmation, sought meaning.

                “That’s up to you Viktor,” Yuuri said softly, his voice was kind and warm and made Viktor’s heart beat faster in his chest. “I told you I’m incredibly fond of you, I care about you deeply but I don’t want to take advantage of your emotional trauma.”

                Viktor swallowed, nodding as he huddled closer to Yuuri, a good non-committal answer, one that allowed him to back out now if he needed to. The real question was of course, if he wanted to back out now, run with his tail between his legs like he usually did when faced with real life.

                _No, you don’t.  
                Listen very carefully Viktor. This is your conscience speaking. For once in your life commit to something, be something, let yourself need someone. Stop being so… **whatever** , you fucking invertebrate._

He looked up into the other man’s expectant eyes before leaning forward, bringing his lips to Yuuri’s. He gently nipped at his lower lip, asking for permission deepen the kiss. Yuuri’s soft lips parted slowly as he brought a hand to the back of Viktor’s head, cupping his head protectively as they allowed their tongues to mingle for a moment, in an exploratory dance. Viktor ran the tip of his tongue along the other man’s sharp fangs before pushing deeper. He could’ve sworn he felt Yuuri purr with a gentle shudder. He smelled like evening primroses, bright and earthy, almost dizzyingly floral and sweet. A speck of bright yellow sunshine against the night sky.

                He loved everything about him. He ran his hands down the other man’s back, feeling the knots of his spine under his soft, warm skin as they pulled closer still, nestling their bodies together as they melted into each other. He found himself mapping the other’s body as Yuuri’s fingers wove their way into his hair. Their embrace turned more desperate as he felt Yuuri’s powerful tongue push into his mouth, drawing a sigh from his lungs.

                An unspoken contract, a mutual agreement to allow themselves to open up, to build each other up and tear down the walls that kept them afraid and alone, sealed with a deep kiss.

                He felt himself wipe a warm tear from the other’s cheek as he pulled away for a moment.

                “I’m scared Viktor. I’ve never let myself get close to anyone before… everyone dies so I ran away, pretending like I don’t care but…” Yuuri finally said, his voice slightly shaky, “it’s scary, everything I touch dies.”

                “It’s okay, I’m scared too...” He said with soft, loving eyes, “I won’t die, I’m still here, right?”

                Yuuri nodded as he leant back in, letting his soft, plump lips clash against Viktor’s once more. He reciprocated, kissing back hungrily. He was going to make up for all the years Yuuri had spent alone, fearing death, distancing himself from it, growing hard and calloused in his own way… They were going to live for once.

                The prospect was terrifying.

                He felt his hands travel down subconsciously, grasping the other man’s firm rear with his fumbling fingertips. He felt Yuuri buck forward at the touch, inhaling sharply as his erection brushed against Viktor’s. Yuuri’s lips left his for a moment, mouthing at his neck, kissing gently over the marked skin as he dragged his delicate nails down Viktor’s back. Viktor let out a soft moan at the contact of those loving lips against his warm skin, feeling a jolt of excitement and affection pool in his chest.

                “Fuck me Vitya,” He heard the other man whisper almost desperately in his ear, “please… I need it… I need you, to feel you. I need you closer…”

                “Me too, babe,” Viktor responded hoarsely, his hips bucking as he rutted against the other man’s leg, desperate for more, burying his face in the other man’s hair and deeply inhaling the scent of flowers and sickly sweetness, “me too…”

                He felt Yuuri’s hands travel down his body, seemingly absorbing ever detail of his warm skin, smoothly mapping the planes of Viktor’s lithe form. He felt a warm twinge as the other man’s elegant digits brushed against a pert nipple, drawing a soft moan from his throat. He kneaded the soft flesh of Yuuri’s pert ass as the other man’s lips travelled to his collar bones, hungrily planting kisses on his flesh, going over old marks and deepening them into bright red blooms as his teeth dragged across his vulnerable skin.

                “Ah, Vitya,” Yuuri groaned in an excited pant, “you’re so fucking hard…”

                “It’s cause you’re so fucking beautiful Yuuri,” He replied breathlessly, gasping slightly as the other man stroked him through his briefs. The rough fabric felt overwhelming with the friction of the warm palm against his cock.

                “You’re so good at flattery,” He laughed warmly in between desperate kisses, the pace of his hand intensifying as he slipped his hand under the thin layer of cotton. The air was filled with the scent of flowers and the lewd sounds of skin against warm skin as Viktor allowed a hand to lazily trail to Yuuri’s lap.

                The other man rutted against his palm, breathing deeply as they looked into each other’s flushed, excited faces. Yuuri was stunning, his eyes blown out into dark pits of affection, his lips bruised and slightly parted, revealing the points of those extraordinary teeth of his. His dark hair was a mess, pulled back from his face in delicate, carefree waves. He smiled, his chest heaving as he panted.

                Viktor was the first to dip, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses along the other man’s torso as he made contented noises in the back of his throat, which drove Viktor absolutely wild. He felt a gnawing pang in his heart, a strange lustful hunger as he tasted him, exploring his soft form. It was different than anything he'd felt before. It wasn't so much that he had an itch that he needed to scratch, but rather that the itch was Yuuri. He wanted him to himself, and at the same time, he wanted to belong to him. 

                Finally, he reached the other man’s waist and hurriedly peeled off his boxers. As if in a furious lovestruck frenzy he took Yuuri’s hard cock into his mouth, causing the other man to gasp sharply and buck his hips forward in excitement at the sudden contact of the warm wetness against his sensitive skin. Viktor moaned around the thick organ as he bobbed up and down, meeting the frenetic jerking of Yuuri’s hips, running his tongue around the warm salty flesh with relish.

                He figured he must look like a mess, hair tussled as Yuuri’s fingers gripped a fistful of long tresses, eyes wide open and hungry behind his long lashes, saliva trickling down his chin onto his fingers as he violently sucked the other man off. He didn’t care, he was lost in the moment, lost in the tightly shut eyes of the man above him, the flush of his soft cheeks, his soft quirked brows, the sharp points of his canines digging into his lower lip as he choked back soft moans and grunts, the heaving of his chest as his back arched, his breath shallow and desperate though he couldn’t get air to his lungs fast enough.

                “Viktor,” he moaned, his voice deep and heavy with want and need, “you’re so fucking good at this… please, more. I need you inside me, Vitya. Please, fuck me. Give it to me, Vitya…”

                Viktor pulled back with a wet, sloppy sound as he caught his breath, the corners of his mouth aching pleasantly as he nodded, reaching over to the bedside table and pulling out a tube of lubricant and a condom. He smiled at Yuuri, his eyes warm and filled with anticipation as he leant over him, kissing those warm, plump, inviting lips.

_God, I love it when he talks like that…_

                He slicked up his fingers, the faintly strawberry scented lube mixing with the warm, wet saliva that was already on his digits as he continued planting rough, needy kisses on the other man’s lips, loving the sighs that lingered on the tip of his lover’s tongue. Yuuri’s hands clambered around his body, clumsily running over his flesh as he finally rested them on his lap, palming at Viktor’s arousal with a fervent desire that bordered on desperation. Viktor responded to the welcome contact by delicately pushing a finger into the tight pucker of his lover’s entrance, delighting in the gasp and tremor that resonated through the smaller man.

                “Are you alright, Yuuri?” He asked between kisses on his lover’s lips, “it’s not painful, is it?”

                “N-no,” The other man replied, his sharp, predatory teeth teasing Viktor’s tongue in a way that made his cock twitch excitedly in Yuuri’s hand, “It’s just a little… unusual. I’ve only done it to myself a few times before so I’m not very used to it…”

                “Just let me know if it hurts okay, babe?” Viktor said in a husky, hoarse voice as he pumped the finger in and out, gently curling around in the tight heat. “God, you’re so fucking hot and tight Yuuri…”

                Yuuri let out a satisfied groan against Viktor’s mouth as the words left Viktor’s throat. He ground his hips against Viktor’s knuckles, meeting the rhythm of Viktor’s hands, matching it with his own. Viktor felt a familiar warm flutter in his chest as he gently pushed his index into Yuuri, drawing a soft croon as it joined his middle finger. The other man’s head tilted back with a low moan as he pulled away from Viktor’s lips, his back arching slightly as Viktor scissored at the tight muscles inside the other man, stretching him out.

                 “Please Vitya…” Yuuri said in a strained voice, his hips keening forward as he arched his back, “I need more of you. Ruin me, Viktor. Ruin me for everyone else so only you can have me.”

                Viktor swallowed hard as Yuuri’s words opened a direct line to some part of his libido that was currently not being attended to. He couldn’t help himself, he leant into the exposed stretch of Yuuri's pale throat and sank his own teeth into it gently, not hard enough to seriously hurt him but enough to leave small red indents in the silky skin. Yuuri let out a sharp gasp as Viktor’s lips affixed themselves to his neck, teasing it with his teeth and tongue. He let out a low purr, a sort of deep, possessive noise as he left matching love bites on Yuuri’s neck.

                He pulled back, observing his handiwork with contentment. He smiled, fixing his eyes onto Yuuri’s, which were heavily lidded and dark with want. His face had a quirky, seductive smile of satisfaction, making Viktor feel hot in turn. “You’d make a pretty good bloodsucker too, Viktor…”

                “Turn around for me,” He said smiling as he gently pulled his fingers out, “I’ll give you what you need.”

                Yuuri’s tongue crept out of his mouth, gently lapping at his lower lip as he did as he was told, a playful gleam in his eyes. Viktor quickly tore open the condom packet and rolled the rubber onto his cock, spreading some of the excess lubricant from his hands onto his length. He positioned himself and slowly, gently, pushed his way into the warm tightness of Yuuri’s hole. He groaned deep in his throat as he felt the other man clench tightly around him. Yuuri’s shoulders shuddered as he let out a sharp yelp.

                “Are you alright?” Viktor panted, slowly pulling back and pushing back in, trying to get them both acclimated to the act.

                He saw Yuuri nod violently in front of him, much to his relief. “Oh god, yes Viktor… You’re just a bit bigger than I thought. I didn’t realise it would be so tight.”

                And _god was it ever_. He felt himself melt into the contact, the warm muscle squeezing him and taking in his throbbing cock. He leant over closer to the other man, his shallow breaths hot against Yuuri’s shoulderblades as he continued slowly pistoning his hips, delighting in the series of small grunts and delicate mewling moans that he drew from his lungs.

                “Ah, Vitya… More, please. Take me,” He hissed in a desperate pant, “I’m so close Viktor.”

                All of Viktor’s restraint flew out the window as he vigorously thrust into Yuuri, enthralled by the scent of flowers, the lewd sounds of Yuuri coming undone below him, the warm clench of Yuuri against his arousal. He grunted loudly, no longer caring if anyone heard (as if he even cared in the first place), wrapping his hand around Yuuri’s dick and stroking it, trying to match the violent pace at which he slammed into him. He felt a warm shudder and heard a violent cry leave his lover’s lips as he seemed to have found the perfect angle to hit his prostate, driving into the sensitive organ with relish as he heard more breathy moans, punctuating what Viktor thought must be Japanese (and he was thankful that he didn’t understand a single word what Yuuri was saying as it sounded delightfully filthy). He felt the familiar warm tightness under his navel as he approached his climax. He felt himself explode into a shower of sparks, inhuman, incorporeal as he came violently, warm vibrations spreading throughout his limbs, his heart pounding in his ears as he shuddered, riding out the wave of pleasure, feeling Yuuri tighten and shudder below him as he followed suit.

                He smiled, collapsing as he pulled out slowly, with a soft groan. He nuzzled into Yuuri’s neck, spent, barely able to put two coherent thoughts together. His limbs were soft, his heart and mind were still floating, somewhere over the bed in a transcendent state. Yuuri let out a soft gentle sigh as he rolled over, curling into Viktor’s arms as they floated in a blissful cloud.

 _Holy shit, I have a fucking **BOYFRIEND**. _ He thought as he dozed off peacefully, _things are finally looking up for us, I think…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter went a lot longer than I thought it would because deep down I might be self-indulgent when I write depressed boys with attachment issues.
> 
> (Also I was listening to an appropriate playlist which is very much of the _introspective navel-gazing about how much you hate yourself and how awkward you are_ variety which might've inspired this chapter a bit more than I'd care to admit).


	10. Nightwalking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Viktor and Yuuri take a lovely walk and meet a little friend.

**** **** **_“_ ** **_If the apocalypse comes, beep me.”_ **

**_\- Buffy Summers, Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ **

                “So, what do we do with your last few hours of freedom?” Yuuri said as he scrubbed at his damp hair with a fluffy white towel, causing it to stick out at angles not typically found in nature, “eat, sleep, screw?”

                “Okay, we’re gonna have to account for some biological differences here because I have a refractory period and I might actually die if we do that again,” Viktor replied with a low groan, the cold air of the bathroom making him wish that he’d never left the shower in the first place, “not that it would be a bad way to go, mind you…”

                “Well, you did call me Count Cockula that one time,” Yuuri laughed, his warm chuckle pulling at Viktor’s heartstrings.

                “I call you Count Cockula one time and you never let me forget it, do you?” Viktor said, punctuating his sardonic question with a peck on the cheek, “nah, I think I wanna get a post coitus smoke in though if you’re ok with that.”

                “You know, you just said you didn’t want death by fucking, but cancer is apparently hunky dory…” Yuuri sighed, “you’re an enigma, Vitya.”

                Viktor rolled his eyes, “look, on Monday I’ll go get a vape pen and join the legions of assholes sucking back the juice. It’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make because I love you.”

                “You’d risk looking like a tool for me?” Yuuri gasped, batting his eyelashes in an exaggerated show of amazement.

                “Yeah sure,” Viktor said, planting another peck on Yuuri’s lips, “you’re worth it.”

                “mmm, so noble,” Yuuri crooned, reciprocating with a soft kiss of his own, throwing the towel onto Viktor’s hair and scrubbing at it to dry him off, “I’ve been blessed.”

                “For sure… but for now, I get to be a scoundrel and get my smokes.” Viktor said under the towel, shaking out his damp hair. “Nicotine first, nobility later.”

                Yuuri rolled his eyes, clicking his tongue with a gentle smile as they walked into the bedroom once more. Viktor strutted over to the dresser, fully aware of the effect he was having on the other man with only a towel slung low on his hips. He smiled, winking at Yuuri in the reflection of the mirror as he replaced the bandages over his bite marks, gently peeling off the dressings and adding fresh, clean gauze over them. He cocked his head back, admiring his handiwork as he fumbled through the dresser, picking out an old, favourite sweater and a pair of dark jeans to wear for the day. He slipped them on, feeling infinitely more confident with himself. He watched Yuuri throw on the baggy, black cable-knit sweater he’d worn the day they met, twin tears still showing off pale skin in the back and a pair of light wash jeans. He looked effortlessly adorable, snuggled up in the warm cotton knit.

                He waltzed over to the living room and searched the pockets of his bomber jacket, which had been unceremoniously chucked onto an old wooden chair (an antique his father had given him as a housewarming present which now served as an impromptu coatrack/ depression pile) and pulled out the cardboard packet of smokes, only to find to his dismay that it was empty.

                “I’m fresh out,” He groaned, giving Yuuri a pleading glance.

                “That’s too sad,” Yuuri said with a shrug, clearly not getting it. "No smoker's lung for you."

                “Wanna come with me to the shop so I can fuel my addiction? I know we’re closed for the weekend but I still have the key so like, I’ll deduct the cost from my next paycheque or something.” He said, glancing out the window. It was twilight, they’d spent the better part of the day dozing off in each other’s arms until they finally agreed that lying there in each other’s filth was vaguely unhygienic, and maybe it would be best to launder the bedding to clean up the wet spot from the unfortunate consequences of falling asleep right after a moment of passion, which was, in Viktor's mind, entirely worth it to spend a few more sweaty, slimy, slightly uncomfortable moments in each other's embrace.

                “Sure, why not?” Yuuri said, stretching as he wrapped an arm around his lover’s waist, “it seems like a nice evening. Plus, you know, a romantic night walk is never unwelcome.”

                Viktor smiled as he left a fistful of kibble and a few milkbones in Makkachin’s bowl for her troubles, reminding himself to give her many tummy rubs when he came back home. She was a good girl, hadn’t even broken into the bedroom to bark at them at any point. She wagged her tail, appreciatively wolfing down her snack.

                They walked down the sidewalk hand in hand, looking vaguely like a happy couple from one of the awful twee romantic comedies he knew Christophe was secretly quite fond of. The air was warm and mild again, making it feel like a gentle summer as opposed to a strangely cool one. The long, blue light of the setting sun tinted Yuuri’s dark hair in a bluish tinge, his dark brown eyes looking like sparkling obsidian behind his lashes as he looked at Viktor with fondness and affection, resting his head on Viktor’s shoulder as they walked close, their hips occasionally nudging each other.

                It was a good feeling, warm and light. Viktor didn’t quite remember if he had ever felt quite this fulfilled and content in a romantic liaison before, but he did know that he didn’t want this feeling to end. In a sense, he was thankful that they had mutually decided to rip off the bandage and look at each other’s ugly parts.

                It felt like truly being in love for the first time in forever.

                Yuuri smiled as he skipped up the stairs alongside him, waiting at the entrance of the darkened store as Viktor unlocked the door and quickly turned off the alarm before either he or (god have mercy) his father got the automated alarm notice texted to them. The Stop-and-Save looked absolutely surreal with the harsh buzzing fluorescents off, the radio silent and only the gentle hum of refrigeration units around them. He slid open the panel hiding the shelf where they kept the tobacco products and picked up a pack of Camels, making a mental note to remember to pay for them later. It wouldn’t be the first time he helped himself to smokes, but there was a fundamental difference between simply sneaking a couple of Newports from his dad’s bedside table and actually disturbing the merchandise on the shelves.

                Finally, the pair made their way out of the store, locking up behind them.

                Things would’ve gone smoothly, been extremely pleasant if he hadn’t heard a familiar voice, thick with a Russian accent and venom dripping from every syllable.

                “I can’t fucking believe you thought I was a thief after pulling that shit, old man,” The voice called out.

                Viktor groaned, lifting his eyes for a moment. Sure enough, there at the edge of the empty parking lot was his little stray kitten, blonde hair still covering ninety percent of his face, dark hood pulled up with a single gleaming bottle-green eye staring daggers into Viktor’s blue ones, his lips pulled back in a perpetual petulant, adolescent sneer.

                “Is it just your hobby to stand in the fucking parking lot here?” Viktor said, lighting a cigarette and dragging on it to calm his nerves, “like do you have nothing better to do... Do I look like I’m running the babysitter's club here? It's not a daycare, little buddy.”

                The boy didn’t answer, electing to instead glare at Yuuri. Yuuri seemed unnerved by the intense, burning, deep loathing that had built up in the boy’s eyes. “Do you know this guy, Vitya?”

                “Yeah, you could say that…” Viktor muttered, rolling his eyes, “he fucking comes to the Stop-n-Save to stare. It’s like his favourite fucking thing or something. He likes staring, and pointing his stupid hot topic emo kid phone at me and being a little pest. Hey, beat it, I know a whole cop and I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t like to know you’re loitering here.”

                “Shut the fuck up,” the kid said loudly, stepping towards them with quick, purposeful steps. A dark, twisted sort of smile had spread on his face, something that immediately disquieted Viktor. His gleaming eye never left Yuuri as he walked closer, the lone streetlight illuminating his features, casting dark unnatural shadows under his eyes and chin, making him look like a demented slasher right out of a cheesy goresploitation splatterhouse flick. “I can’t believe I finally found you, piggy.”

                “Piggy?” Yuuri said, his brows quirking as he sized the boy up and down, “are you sure you have the right person? I don’t think we’ve ever met.”

                “Shut the fuck up, nosferatu…” He replied, his grim smile not faltering in the least as he stood at the bottom of the concrete steps that lead to the twin doors of the Stop-N-Save, “I finally fucking found you and now, you’re gonna die.”

                _Holy shit, what is this guy's damage?_

“Hey kid, I don’t know what the fuck you’ve been drinking, but leave my fucking boyfriend alone, alright?” Viktor said angrily, stepping between the two and blowing an angry puff of smoke in the boy’s face, causing him to flinch momentarily and wrinkle his nose in disgust. “If I fucking catch you sulking around my shop again I’ll call the fucking cops.”

                The threat had apparently done absolutely nothing to deter him as the little punk swung at him, smacking him in the cheek with a sucker punch. It hurt, yes, but there was more damage done to his ego than to his cheekbone. He stumbled back, his cigarette falling to the ground.

                “You too, bug-eating minion…” The boy spat, “I don’t care what dark incantation he’s cast on you, both of you are fucking dead.”

                Before Viktor could come up with some sort of cutting response, however, the little bastard had already decided to have a go, flinging himself at Yuuri with a speed that would’ve been genuinely impressive if it didn’t belong to a tiny maniac who had just been talking about murdering them.

                Yuuri yelped as he avoided a right hook to the face, raising his hands as he deftly dodged his assailant’s blows, stumbling back into the parking lot. He hissed, those sharp fangs bared in warning as he spoke in broken, ragged breaths between the boy’s attempts at hitting him. “Lay off… I don’t know what your problem with me is but please… stop. I don’t want any trouble. I don’t want to fight a kid…”

                “Stop patronising me and fight back coward!” the kid snapped back, reaching into his pocket and pulling out some sort of shining, metal, collapsible crucifix shaped thing, a sword of some type, which he proceeded to swing at Yuuri, missing every time.

                “Okay, fine,” Viktor grunted, throwing himself onto the little fucker, pinning him down quite easily considering the sheer difference in size and height between the two of them, “we’re done here. We’re. Fucking. Done.”

                “Get off me, foul minion,” The boy grunted back, trying to grasp at the object which had slipped out of his reach with the impact of Viktor’s tackle. “I’ll deal with you later.”

                Viktor shook his head, “nope. Not gonna move. Not gonna stoop to your level, not gonna fight a kid. You’re gonna have your tantrum, and then we’re gonna stop, walk our separate ways and you’re gonna get the fuck out of my life before I burst a blood vessel and shit a brick.”

                The kid wailed as he struggled, “No, no we’re not gonna do that. I’m gonna stab your stupid little piggy and then I’m gonna stab the shit out of you, you fucking dense motherfucker, because that’s what you do to nasty. Things. That. Eat. People.”

                “He’s not eating people dumbass,” Viktor grunted again, “source: me, a people, uneaten.”

                “Will both of you just fucking stop?” Yuuri groaned, “this is stupid. Please, kid, I promise I’m not eating anyone, okay?”

                “Yeah right, I’m sure all the people that are magically disappearing have nothing to do with you…” The boy strained, snapping his jaws at Viktor’s arms like a trapped animal, “and the old man here is the fucking queen of England, and I’m a fucking tiger shark.”

                “Ok, there’s like no reason, no reason at all, to keep calling me old. I’m not even thirty yet… and will you STOP TRYING TO BITE MY FUCKING HANDS?” Viktor snapped, adjusting his legs to make up for the massive amount of limb flailing that was currently happening, “god even Makkachin isn’t this fucking fussy when it’s time for her shots. You’re fussier than my fucking dog and I’m trying to be patient here, but it’s really hard when you keep insulting me all the time.”

                He felt a wad of warm saliva hit his cheek as the kid spat at him. Viktor let out a disgusted yelp as he pulled back, apparently giving the boy below him enough leeway to slip his lithe figure out from underneath Viktor’s clutches. He laughed triumphantly as he picked up his weapon, swinging at Viktor and smacking him in the nose with the hilt. Viktor was dazed as he watched the kid pull out a strange, golden object from the seemingly endless depths of his pockets and lobbed it at Yuuri.

                Yuuri screamed as the glimmering sphere hit his shoulder, spraying him with a clear liquid. Viktor saw red as he jumped at the boy again, knocking him to the ground once more. He was going to make him pay, make him rue the day he ever dared to hurt his beloved. He grabbed him by the collar, ignoring the flash of fear in the boy's expression as he let some sort of angry growl build in his chest...

                Then Yuuri laughed, causing them both to freeze, wide-eyed as Viktor had reeled back his arm to slug the boy in the face.

                “Viktor no! It’s only tap water. Tap water with Johnson’s b-baby oil in it…” He wheezed between hearty laughs, “and holy shit, the thing… his s-stupid sword, it’s _plastic_ Viktor. He’s… _adorable_.”

                “Shut the fuck up you monster!” The boy shouted, his face bright red as his eyes narrowed with rage, “I’m gonna fucking flay you alive as an example to all the fucked up… **_things_** running around out here!”

                “No, no…it’s o-okay,” Yuuri gasped as he wiped away a tear, “you’re doing great. If it… if you had actually th-thrown anointed holy water I would be in real trouble…”

                “SHUT UP!” He snapped again, wriggling as he tried to free his collar from Viktor’s fist, “SHUT! UP! I’LL BASH YOUR TEETH IN!”

                “wait, so he’s just an asshole with a plastic sword?” Viktor asked incredulously, looking at Yuuri with large question marks all over his face. A moment ago he was about to beat the ever loving shit out of this would-be assassin, protecting his beloved boyfriend's honour and life, the next Yuuri was doubled over howling with laughter.

                “Oh Viktor, b-bless his heart… he’s just a li’l chuunibyou.” Yuuri said with a large grin. He gave the boy a sympathetic smile as he spoke, which made the boy’s face turn even deeper shade of crimson. The poor little guy looked like he was going to have an aneurysm on the spot, his teeth gritted in anger as his fists tightened into white-knuckled fists.

                He swung again, smacking Viktor in the nose for the second time in a row, causing him to groan and clutch at it, blood trickling onto his fingers. “Oh c’mon…” He whined, his voice nasal as he tried not to bleed all over his good jacket, “that’s not fucking fair, kid.”

                The little guy, however, seemed too far gone to care about fighting dirty, he screamed as he picked up his weapon and ran towards Yuuri with murderous intent, his eyes blazing with violence and determination.

                At that moment, however, his bloodthirsty battle cry interrupted by the discordant sound of a siren. Red and blue lights cast strange, deep shadows over the three of them as they blinked into the blazing headlights of a police car. Viktor groaned, watching the car stop in the parking lot.

                “You three,” he heard a familiar, slightly French-accented voice say with a stern touch of disappointment, “freeze.”

                “Hey, Adel…” Viktor said nervously, trying to smile but twisting his face into a strange grimace instead, “how’s it hangin’?”

                “Good evening, Viktor. Nice to see you looking so lively... Sorry to say, but disturbing the peace and assaults are crimes, so you’re all going to have to come down to the station with me,” Adel said, smiling back, his face looking a great deal more natural and sincere than Viktor's.

                At that moment, Viktor wished his sweater didn't have _**ACAB**_ written on it in a bright green, glow in the dark font.

               

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Yuri, darling, you tried your absolute best. 10/10, A+ for effort, 0/10 for execution on the vampire-hunting business.
> 
> and Viktor never got his cigarette, but I'm sure that's better for his health anyway.  
> (but boy was that a bad time to be wearing the _all cops are bastards_ shirt huh dude).


	11. claw and order

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Viktor gets the book thrown at him and discusses current events with officer Adel

**_“_ ** **_I didn’t even know what a horror film was, I just made it up as I went along.”_ **

**_-Wes Craven_ **

                “Brings back memories, doesn’t it Viktor?” Adel said with a friendly chuckle as he adjusted the rear-view mirror from behind the plexiglass plate that separated them.

                “You have priors Vitya?” Yuuri hissed under his breath, shuffling in the hard, vinyl seat as he tried to get comfortable, his arms pulled behind his back in cuffs.

                “Not exactly…” Viktor groaned, wanting to melt through the hard plastic and just get ingulfed in a ball of flame, “it’s a long and stupid story.”

                It was two years ago now. Christophe had tried to get Viktor over yet another pathetic break up by convincing him to go have a fun night at his workplace and, well, it was about as much fun as he’d expected staring at glittery bodies grinding poles and drinking lukewarm, slightly pissy-tasting beer to be. Bangerz wasn’t exactly a dignified place, but it was a pretty good place to work if you liked money, flexible hours and didn’t mind lax sanitation standards and slash or the occasional cursed object making its way into your prep area. Still, at least he had somehow managed to get a good buzz going by abusing Christophe’s bar tab and seeing Chris do his shtick was pretty fun (but nothing Viktor hadn’t seen many, many times before, it was like the guy had an innate radar attuned to whatever situation was best appropriate to remove his shirt, and it was set to _Literally All Of Them_ ). What was decidedly less fun, however was the drunk, crusty old fuck who kept pawing at his best friend’s ass despite the supposed no-touching policy.

                He wasn’t gonna stand for it and had managed to challenge the guy to a friendly debate about the merits of asking permission before touching someone’s backside out in the parking lot, with Viktor maintaining the position being a decent human and the other man maintaining the position of drunken slurring and giving him a black eye as Christophe desperately tried to separate the two. Eventually, their _spirited discussion_ had reached the point where they’d ended up in the backseat of separate cop cars, Christophe desperately trying to give his statement as the newly recruited, slightly intimidated looking officer blushed furiously and tried to avert his eyes from semi-nude man in front of him. Eventually, Adel had opened the door and removed Viktor’s cuffs, letting him off with a fair warning and letting Chris off with his phone number (although that last part had been Christophe’s request, which incurred a lasting repetitious chorus of, ‘ _really Giacometti, really?’s_ from Viktor and replies of ‘ _but he’s really nice and cute… and look, he let you off the hook didn’t he?’s_ from Chris).

                Fast forward two years and now he was back in handcuffs, apparently. Part of him wanted to see Yuuri in cuffs at some point, admittedly, but this was decidedly not the way that scenario was supposed to play out. For one, they had champagne in that little fantasy…

                “I swear we have more important shit to do that go pick up some noisy drunks…” The surly looking young officer beside Adel muttered, furrowing his admittedly impressive brows, “like figure out where the hell our Jane Doe went off to.”

                “Now, now, officer Lee,” Adel replied with a warm smile, “I’m sure that there’s a perfectly logical explanation for the corpse disappearing like that… although maybe we shouldn’t really discuss this in front of our guests?”

                “Whatever, like they give a shit. If you’re drunk enough to be yelling about Dracula like that little dude in Sara’s car is, you’re not gonna be paying attention to much.” The man replied as he rested his head on his chin.

                “Look, I’ll deal with the booking and processing, you go to Timmies and get one of those Nutella muffins you like so much and a nice hot apple cider okay?” Adel said smoothly, “It shouldn’t take long anyway, just a drunken tussle. Looks like no one’s been too hurt, only some bruised egos.”

                _Look at this asshole. How dare you get off on being so fucking nice and sociable… stupid ass handsome smiley bastard._

* * *

 

                It hadn’t been at the station for long after he’d been finger printed and had his mugshot taken before Viktor was asked to follow Adel into an interrogation room to get his statement. Whatever, he would tell him that the little punk had jumped them and then apologise to Yuuri for getting them all in this stupid mess. He sat at the table, his hands cuffed in front of him as the harsh light above them washed out any shadows, making the room look ridiculously flat and bright.

                “Are you thirsty?” Adel asked, handing him a cup of water, smiling as he drank a sweet-smelling herbal tea out of a mug that said _WORLD’S OKAYEST DAD_ on the side of it. A gift from Christophe probably. He thought that sort of thing was hilarious, as evidenced by the _ONE COOL AUNT_ t-shirt he’d gifted Viktor a year ago.

                Viktor drank from the paper cup, but not because he appreciated the drink. No, this was spite thirst. He was drinking this water from his own volition, damn it.

                Adel put the mug down on the table in front of him, and, to Viktor’s surprise, clicked the power button on the tape recorder that was recording their interview. Viktor furrowed his brow as he looked back to the man sitting opposite him, wondering what the point of the interview was if he wasn’t going to bother keeping any evidence of it.

                “Viktor, why do you hate me?” Adel folded his hands in front of him again as he spoke with a sigh, “I try my best to be a good person, you know...”

                _That’s a surprise. Not sure what I expected._

                “Don’t feel too bad,” He said with a pointed roll of his eyes, “I lowkey hate everybody.”

                “But you don’t hate your bloodsucker, do you?” He asked, quirking a brow as he smiled knowingly.

                _That’s a surprise too. What the fuck? Is this just some open secret that everyone but me was privy too or what…_

                “How did you know?” Viktor asked, his mouth hanging open a little stupidly as he tried to piece together exactly what was happening…

                “Well, no offence Mr.Nikiforov but you fucking stink,” Adel responded bluntly, waving a hand under his nose as if to imply a lingering smell of some sort that needed to be wafted away tout-de-suite.

                “Like my emotions?” Viktor asked with a frown, vaguely remembering how Yuuri managed to pick up on his emotions via smell and wondering if somehow Adel had this ability too.

                “No, like you actually fucking reek. Like he’s rubbed his nasty, sickly sweet rotting corpse stank all over you…” he replied, wrinkling his nose slightly, “at first, I wasn’t sure if you knew what he was, but then you started smelling more like one of them. I must admit I was a little worried but, well you were being less of a jerk than usual and I’m not about to judge anyone if they want to be in a relationship like that, you know, all things considered...”

                “So, uh, are you, one too then?” He asked, picking up on the way he’d trailed off at the last statement, “a vampire, I mean…”

                He shook his head with a laugh, “oh god no. Can you imagine me trying to…” he mimed biting at someone’s throat, “with the glowy soul thing going on? No, think more… canine. Big teeth, big claws, that sort of thing.”

                Under the harsh, bright light of the lamp above them, Viktor noticed a yellow tint to his eyes, which seemed all the more prominent since the other man’s pupils had retracted into sharp looking slits as opposed to the usual pinpricks. _Interesting, but also fucked up._

                “Uh, so Christophe know then?” Viktor asked once more, realising more than ever that it was coming across more as if he was the interviewer rather than the interviewee…

                “Well yeah, what kind of asshole would I have to be not to tell my husband-to-be that I turn into a massive three-hundred-pound pile of muscles, fur and fangs once a lunar cycle?” Adel answered, sounding vaguely offended as he took another sip of tea, “besides, I’m pretty sure he would’ve noticed the moment I dropped trou the first time. I mean, it’s kind of… noticeable.”

                Viktor groaned as he closed his eyes, burying his face in his palms as he desperately tried to forget he had heard that, and desperately chasing the image of Chris riding Adel’s red rocket out of his mind. “I didn’t need to know about the specific size or shape, my dude…”

                _Nope, that one’s gonna need some vodka. Hi God, it’s me Viktor, wondering why you decided to do such a fucking 180 on me right now._

                “That’s not at all what I was implying and you know it…” he grumbled, turning a very satisfying shade of pink for a moment as his nice-guy façade slipped into something more decidedly human, “you noticed it too with your friend I’m sure. We just have different standards for what normal equipment is supposed to look like.”

                “Yeah well,” Viktor said with a smile, saving Mr Perfect’s flush to the mental Rolodex for a rainy day, “you know good old Christophe always was a bit of a size queen…”

                “God yeah,” Adel replied with a dreamy tone, “it’s fucking nice isn’t it…”

                “As much as I hate thinking about the fact that the one thing we have in common is that we know way too much about Jackoffmeti’s sexual preferences,” Viktor said, “yeah it’s nice to finally see him settle down.”

                “If you ever call my boyfriend that outside of Mario Kart I will fucking arrest you for real,” Adel said with a laugh before turning deadly serious once more, “I know how to abuse power. Never done it before but I’m sure it’s a fucking trip.”

                “I mean isn’t not arresting me for like actual crimes two times in a row technically an abuse of power in its own right?” Viktor asked with a smirk.

                “I mean if you really want to be arrested I can actually do that too.” Adel replied, “like if that’s honestly on your bucket list under _become a chew toy of the living dead_.”

                “Nah, I think I’m good…” Viktor stretched, or rather, tried to stretch as casually as one could while still handcuffed, “anyway, glad to see you’re not always stuck up your own ass about being a lawful good dipshit. Can I go now, because I think I really need to go get some martinis for me and the boyfriend because I’m still fucking picturing you with some _bad dragon_ type shit going on and it’s killing me inside…”

                “I’m afraid that’s going to have to wait, I do have an actual purpose in bringing you here…” Adel said, wisely opting to ignore ninety percent of that statement, “I’m just sure you’ve noticed some strange things happening. Not just normal strange things, mind you. If it was just a typical imp infestation or a ghoul getting a little too comfy eating lost pets or something like that, I wouldn’t bother mentioning it but well…”

                “Shit’s fucked up?” Viktor offered.

                “Yeah, shit’s fucked up.” He nodded, “I guess I just wanted to warn you to keep an eye out for anything unusual. Besides you, I mean… god knows how you didn’t collapse into a pile of ash or whatever, but none of my leads is going in your direction. Anyway, dark things are stirring and I don’t like it.”

                “Wait, you actually thought I had something to do with all the weird shit?” Viktor asked incredulously, “that’s not very good for the ol’ self-esteem. Like I’m an asshole but I’m not some weird cataclysm for the apocalypse or anything like that.”

                “I have to suspect everyone, it’s kind of my job,” Adel sighed, “anyway, if you notice anything at all just be careful, and let me know, alright?”

                “Aye aye, captain!” Viktor said as he mock-saluted the other man, which was easier said than done, considering his hands were still cuffed together. “I’ll make sure to be a good boy scout.”

                “Is this what being your friend is like, because I think I’d almost preferred your sullen ire,” Adel said with a sigh as he reached forward, gently holding Viktor’s hands as he unlocked the cuffs. Viktor hadn’t noticed how long and sharp his nails were before, slightly reminiscent of Yuuri’s long claws but definitely meant for ripping things open as opposed to the finer keratinous ones on his partner’s hands.

                Viktor shrugged as he rubbed his slightly bruised wrists. He watched as Adel’s phone buzzed on the table, lighting up with a lock screen that seemed to be a selfie of him and Christophe at the beach. Chris having taken the opportunity to once more forgo wearing a shirt, throwing himself adoringly on the other man’s shoulders as Adel wore a goofy wide brimmed sunhat and a grey v-neck, the both of them smiling brightly with heart-shaped sunglasses on their faces. He noted a notification for an unopened text from a certain “Petit Chaperon” followed by a dozen little heart emojis which was almost charming. Adel gave him an apologetic look as he stepped out of the room to answer for a moment.

                Viktor sat back in his chair, trying to wrap his head around the situation.

                The fact that his best friend was engaged to the fucking wolfman wasn’t as surprising as he thought it would be, to be quite honest. He always knew that Chris was openminded like that, and it clearly worked even if Viktor found the man irritatingly nice, though that was probably just the fact that honestly Adel made everyone around him look like total fucking infants compared to how put together his life was… no, what stuck with him was rather the fact that they’d apparently, both been right, something definitely fucked up was happening right under everyone’s noses and apparently, no one seemed to know exactly what it was. All he knew was that somehow, people were turning up missing and that Yuuri was being blamed for it, albeit by Baby Van Helsing…

                But perhaps there could be someone else with a bone to pick, someone less impotent and more dangerous.

                Suddenly, it was his problem.

                Adel returned, shaking his head as he frowned, a surly look on his face.

                “Is there a problem officer?” Viktor asked, “someone littering in the park? Another fistfight over at Bangerz?”

                “I wish…” He rolled his eyes, smiling despite himself as he picked up his mug, inhaling deeply before taking a large sip of lukewarm tea. “No, we’ve got a disappearing body problem, which is not great considering even the humies on the force have been noticing it. One moment we’re doing our procedure, bagging and tagging, the next, they’re gone.”

                “That’s fucked up…” Viktor said, furrowing his brow, “oh, speaking of uh, bodies… you know JJ King? Kind of obnoxiously French-Canadian guy… worked with Chris… well, he uh, turned into a pair of Imp pyjamas and I saw him eating someone the other day so that’s not good.”

                “Oh?” He said in a tone of mild interest as if Viktor told him that he’d seen him jaywalking, “well if you see him again please let me know, I hear his girlfriend is still looking for him. If you don’t mind, I’ll finish this here and you’re free to continue with your date…”

                Viktor figured it was best to let him to his work while they were slightly more simpatico…

* * *

 

                Viktor joined Yuuri outside, wrapping his arms around his waist and giving him a gentle kiss on the cheek.

                “That was an experience,” Yuuri muttered as he gave him a quick peck on the cheek. “Not gonna lie though, I would rather not get arrested anymore. Back of a cop car isn’t exactly the comfiest place in the world.”

                “Speaking of cops, Adel looked kinda perturbed by something at the end. I normally wouldn't give a shit, but he's pretty cool apart from being a fed and all," Viktor said, "also a werewolf, so bonus points."

                “Maybe it has to do with this disappearing corpse business…” Yuuri suggested, “I mean, it is a little weird even for us. Not usually a thing that happens…”

                Suddenly, he heard a hoarse cry from the right as the little kid from earlier burst out the twin doors of the police station, death in his eyes as he stared at Yuuri and Viktor. He stormed towards them with violent, rage-filled intent, seemingly ready to start fighting immediately.

                “Really, you’re doing this now, like right outside the police station?” Viktor groaned, gently pulling away from Yuuri, “you’re going to be arrested for real, jackass.”

                “Do I look like I give a fuck?” The kid sneered, curling his fingers into fists once more, “I intend to finish you off, old man. You and the piggy.”

                “Yuri Plisetsky, no you will not,” A surly voice said in a cautionary tone, slightly muffled by the roar of an engine. Viktor’s eyes travelled to the parking lot where he saw a man pull up on a motor cycle, stopping quite close to them. He pulled off his helmet to reveal a stern, unimpressed expression. Viktor recognised him.

                It was Otabek Altin, commonly known around the neighbourhood as Beka, owner and operator of the butcher shop across from the Stop-N-Save. He was tall, stoic and had dark hair which was usually in a hair net and darker eyes. At the moment, however, the hair net was gone, letting his undercut look windswept. He clearly came from work, however, as he was wearing a bloodied apron under his leather jacket, making him look incredibly suspicious, possibly like a serial killer. Maybe he was, honestly, Viktor wouldn’t even be surprised by anything anymore.

                “But Beka…” The boy said plaintively, turning on his heel and facing the moody looking young man, “he’s like, an actual fucking vampire. Like, a for real _bites people and turns them into dust_ nosferatu.”

                “I don’t care, Yuri.” He said, his voice had the tired quality of someone who had had this argument many, many times before, “that’s not a reason to try to kill them. How would you feel if someone tried to dissolve you or stab you with a crucifix?”

                “Bad I guess…” He muttered, “but grandpa-”

                “I don’t care what Papa Nikolai used to do.” He interrupted, “He’s a different man now. We all are. No more hunting. No more killing, except for chickens and pigs and cows, no exceptions.”

                “But… Beka!” He whined, gesturing towards Viktor and Yuuri madly, “they’ll back me up on this one, he’s an. Actual. Vampire. Who eats people and everything.”

                “I mean, he’s right,” Yuuri said with a shrug, “but I don’t really eat people anymore. The sword was made of plastic anyway so it's not like he could really stab anyone...”

                “Yeah, I mean,” Viktor added, “I haven’t really died from letting him chew on my jugular before so… I think it’s okay. Besides I don't think my nose is broken so it's not even a biggie dude.”

                Otabek turned back to the little guy, crossing his arms, “they say it’s fine, he’s obviously not dead and if he doesn’t bite anyone else then I don’t see why you should try to purge him, Yuri. I don’t pretend to understand why he’s not dead but it’s not an issue if they’re both adults. Now get your helmet on, Papa Nikolai isn’t pleased to hear I had to pick you up from the police station again.”

                “You told him?” the smaller, more murderous Yuri said, an expression of disbelief spreading on his face, as he grabbed a white helmet of the back of the bike, “fucking traitor!”

                “Thank you for not killing my baby stepbrother,” Otabek said, giving them a half-hearted wave as he got ready to drive off with the little guy in tow, “he’s not a bad kid, just really hung up on wanting to hunt you guys. Please come by for a kebab sometime, it's on the house.”

* * *

 

                “Is everyone in your neighbourhood just weird as fuck?” Yuuri muttered asked as they made their way back towards their home, “not that I’m complaining, mind you.”

                “Yeah, pretty much.” Viktor sighed, his body feeling heavy and tired as he made his way up the stairs, unlocking the door. He was going to sleep the rest of this one off, he thought. Yuuri had some shows he could marathon on Netflix and excitedly chatter about over breakfast, so it wasn’t like the night was going to be entirely miserable.

                At least, that was the plan.

                He didn’t expect being smacked hard by some meaty, heavy thing as he opened the door and slammed into a wall again…

     _Oh c'mon... C'MON. AGAIN?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOOK AT THAT SET UP AND PAY OFF.
> 
> (also yeah, Yuri and Otabek are step brothers in this one, related through Yuri's dad.)
> 
> more importantly, poor Vitya still hasn't had a smoke or a break :<


	12. Family Reunion from Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Viktor and Yuuri have some unexpected visitors who come with some _mildly distressing_ news

**_“Don’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out of it alive.”_ **

**_-Elbert Hubbard_ **

                “Let me go, asshole…” Viktor grunted as he squirmed against the wall, his face smashed up against the cold eggshell plaster, “I’m having a really terrible night, so can we like, not fucking do this?”

                The stranger did not respond, but rather fluttered her black, leathery wings violently as she hissed in his ear, sharp fangs gleaming in the dim light of the corridor. Her dark eyes were blown out into angry pits, a spark of spite and anger flashing in her pupils as she painfully twisted his arm behind him, causing him to cry out. The woman’s breath was hot on his neck as he tried to pull away in vain, her body surprisingly heavy and rigid for someone who didn’t seem quite that large. Despite standing about a whole head shorter than him, she had him effectively pinned to the wall, immobile as he saw the glint of those threatening teeth draw closer, bared like the threatening snarl of an angry animal.

                Yuuri leapt at her almost immediately, removing the weight from Viktor’s body as the pair of them skittered down the hall, hissing at each other, talking loudly in harsh, irate voices. Viktor watched them almost helplessly as the pair argued back and forth, grappling and snapping at each other. A sharp finger tapped on his shoulder, causing him to turn around fast to see a young, dark-haired man holding Makkachin like she was a massive furry baby, her tongue lolling out contentedly as he cradled her oversized limbs, getting dog hair all over his white t-shirt. Both of them seemed entirely over the moon about the whole arrangement.

                “Is this your dog?” He asked in a friendly voice, his grey eyes crinkling in the corners as he smiled brightly, “she’s very nice.”

                “Uh, yeah…” Viktor said, utterly baffled by the stranger’s demeanour, “should we do anything about the… you know…”

                He pointedly jerked his head towards the arguing pair, the woman agitatedly gesticulating towards him, her large wings fluttering as though they were extensions of her arms. She was short, stocky and muscular, dressed in a low-backed grey tank and a pair of baggy, boyish sweats. Her blonde hair was pulled back with a black bandana, revealing a stripe of dark roots which contrasted with the gleam of the multiple piercings on her ears. She looked like a force to be reckoned with, tough and reminiscent of a teenage delinquent despite being about his age. Yuuri looked defensive as he spoke rapidly in clipped Japanese, his eyes quirking back in their direction for a moment before returning to the woman’s face, as he pointed back and forth at them, apparently explaining something.

                “Oh no, don’t worry. They do that… like all the time,” The man said with a sigh as he rubbed his cheek against the tummy of the world’s worst guard dog, “usually animals hate me unless they’re like, hamsters. I have three of those back home, but I’ve always wanted to pat a dog.”

                “Well, Makkachin has no sense of self-preservation so…” Viktor said with a shrug, “little traitor, but what can you do. So, vampires, I’m guessing?”

                “She is…” The man said with a nod, “I’m a ghoul, not quite the same thing but I can see how you’d think I am too since the rest of the family all are and all that. Oh, but don’t worry, I’m not going to eat you or your pet, I know the ravenous appetite for raw flesh thing can make people anxious but it’s okay, I already ate before we left. She did too mind you, so everyone's safe.”

                “And that’s his big sister then?” Viktor asked blithely, choosing to ignore the comment about the fact that the man was apparently a flesh-eater because frankly, at this point, he was getting used to the whole shebang, “the one with the _leading men to their inevitable demise_ thing?”

                “Yeah, she does that,” The man said, nodding again as he put the soft, curly haired poodle back on the ground. She gently nudged her snout against his leg, begging for more affection. “To be fair she only picks out people who wouldn’t really be missed, you know… real scumbags. Turns out all you have to do to lure them out to the middle of nowhere is pretend to be thirteen years old and home alone. Want some coffee, I made coffee.”

                “Coffee sounds great, we’ve had one hell of a night,” Viktor said, nodding to his new best friend in the whole wide world.

                He sat on the sofa next to the man, drinking out of a cup he’d made in elementary school. He had gotten in trouble for it, the mug was one of those arts and crafts projects for Mother’s Day, and apparently painting **_I DON’T HAVE A MOM_** in black, shaky letters was not deemed appropriate. The other man drank out of a souvenir cup from a trip he’d taken with Chris to Amsterdam one year, which had apparently been a hell of a ride despite the fact that he didn’t remember most of it. Most of all, he didn’t remember buying the mug, which was emblazoned with a big ole’ pot leaf, which was vaguely tacky in that way you could get away with if you pretended hard enough that you were being ironic.

                “Sorry I don’t own any normal kitchenware,” He sighed, sipping the bitter black liquid, “if you wanted that you should’ve broken into Christophe and Adel’s flat. Those two seem like the kind of domestic gays who would go to Target to coo at matching tea sets and own things like monogrammed towels and like, plates that aren't made of plastic..”

                “It’s quite alright…” The man said, beaming as he gave Makkachin some loving pats on her big fluffy head, “I don’t even know who either of those people are.”

                “Sorry, they’re just some pals…” He said wryly with another sip of coffee, listening to the slightly muffled sounds of the argument dying down, “so are you like, a relative of his or something?”

                “Something like that,” he said, continuing with _canine adoration hour_ much to Makkachin’s delight, “my name’s Phichit by the way. Yuuri and I go way back like _I was a tiny baby left on the steps of Yu-Topia_ back. I don’t blame the people at the orphanage for dumping me on Mrs.Katsuki like that, mind you, it must be hard to come back to the room and find that one of the li’l brats had the director’s arm clutched in his mouth. Most of them wanted to exorcise me but that wouldn’t have accomplished much anyway so really, it’s probably for the best that they left me at the spooky death house.”

                “Yeah, that would be problematic…” Viktor said with a solemn nod, “honestly though, talk about an overreaction, I’m sure the bastard had another one anyway.”

                Phichit giggled behind his cup, “Yuuri said the same thing, but without the swears, because he was like three but you know how it is. He’s a good kid even if he seems a little like an anxious puppy dog sometimes... and you know, eats people.”

                “Yeah, I feel that. Aren’t we all kinda fucked up though?” Viktor said, downing the last of the coffee, “I mean, it’s life right… just be fucked up, fall in love, sometimes get your haemoglobin lapped up like it’s milk in a saucer for a kitten.”

                “Sage advice,” Phichit said with a nod, “I can see why he chose you.”

                “You know we’re an item?” Viktor asked, quirking a brow. He didn't really think Christophe's gossiping skills would've reached that far, and had assumed that Yuuri was a bit more private and guarded about these things.

                “Oh yeah, he uh, texted us constantly. I know all about you Viktor, how adorable he thinks you are when you sleep, how you eat a spoonful of peanut butter and call that a meal, how you smoke like a chimney and swear like a sailor, how you love dogs but find cats kind of creepy...” Phichit said with a soft smile, “he really likes you. He might be one of those people who gets too anxious and emotionally constipated to say it, but I have the receipts on that one.”

                “I did the peanut butter thing one time…” He muttered, putting the mug down on the ground, “but still, that’s something. Like he gushed?”

                “Disgustingly.” Phichit confirmed, scratching Makkachin behind her ear, “like he was thirteen again.”

                He found himself blushing as his heart skipped in his chest. There was something strangely flattering about knowing that Yuuri was so fond of the little things, so excited about him that he’d been unable to keep his feelings contained. Like he was a single lonely Mentos dropped into a bottle of diet cola…

                He turned his attention to the door as Yuuri and the other vampire entered the apartment, her wings apparently having been collapsed back into her back at some point during their scuffle. He noted that he would have to remember to lock that damn window in the bedroom as Yuuri gave him a sheepish glance, almost apologetic, really. They came closer, the girl slamming her palm next to his head, thumping violently against the back of the sofa as she effectively pinned him down once more. She leant in dangerously, her expression dark and predatory as she spoke.

                “Yo, you fucking my baby brother?” She asked aggressively, her accent thick as she cocked her head to the side, “did you fuck him in the asshole?”

                “Yes?” Viktor replied, sinking down into the sofa, a nervous bead of sweat trickling down his spine as she glared into his soul. He felt absolutely minuscule, like a termite, “we’re uh, dating though?”

                She eyed him up and down, her dark, narrow eyes catching on the bruise on his cheek, the bloodstain on the ACAB sweater, the scuff marks on his knees, his unkempt hair… He was an absolute mess of a human being and he knew it. Finally, after a few moments of mentally assessing the man who had apparently stolen her beloved brother’s ass cherry, she softened her expression into a quirky smirk.

                “Nice…” She said, cocking her head back, “you seem okay Vicchan, as far as men go.”

                “Thanks, I think?” He answered, flustered. Clearly, she had a way of making people feel utterly defenceless, the polar opposite of the man who was currently turning beet red behind her.

                “Mari, you really don’t need to word it like that…” Yuuri muttered, looking like he was pondering the possibility of human spontaneous combustion, “that’s private.”

                “Nothing’s private when it comes to men and my baby brother,” She replied with a shrug and a sardonic smile, “I know what they do and it’s not good. I had to make sure you weren’t getting metaphorically fucked up the ass along with the actual assfucking.”

                “Can we please stop talking about this?” Yuuri begged, looking at Viktor with eyes that seemed to be pleading him for death, “no one needs to know about the status of my ass.”

                “Viktor does!” Phichit chimed in from his corner of the couch, apparently having lifted Makkachin back into his loving hold once more whilst the chaos was playing out around them. He looked ready to elaborate on that thought, but Yuuri shut him down with a cutting glare, “I mean, I’m right…”

                “Okay, as much as I would love to keep going down this conversational rabbit hole,” Viktor said a little too loudly, figuring that everyone had their fill of abject humiliation for the night, “I honestly want to know what the hell is going on here. Is there a reason you guys broke into my place or is that honestly just a totally normal thing people do now that I just didn’t know about?”

                “Oh,” Mari said as she turned her gaze to Yuuri, suddenly looking quite sober and gloomy, “we came because he had a dream... Tell them, Phichit.”

                “The moon was crashing into the earth and we all died,” Phichit said matter-of-factly as if everyone suddenly getting snuffed out in a single moment by an extinction level event was no more distressing than being out of cornflakes.

                “You came… all the way here… from Japan,” Viktor started, furrowing his brows as he spoke quietly and hesitantly, trying to figure out where his life was even going at this point, “because he had a nightmare.”

                “I mean we used a plane,” Mari responded with a snort, “it’s actually kinda important. He’s not supposed to have those so you know, when he does it’s kind of a big deal.”

                “She’s right…” Yuuri said softly, “he’s always been attuned to fate. I mean, we know weird shit is going on, so I’m pretty sure this has something to do with our disappearing dead person problem. Either way, things seem to be going in a very bad direction...”

                “Cool, so we’re fucked?” Viktor asked, rubbing his temple. _Typical. Something good happens and the fucking apocalypse is coming. Hey cosmos, what the fuck even is your damage?_

                “Totally boned,” Phichit replied cheerily from the edge of the sofa, burying his face in the dog’s soft tummy.

_At least Makkachin is getting something out of this. Fucking hell._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aww geez, just when we all thought Viktor didn't get a break...
> 
> apparently Phichit being able to fortell the future is just a recurring motif in my work now. Good shit.


End file.
